Today was an amazing day! We went to our second day at the seminar. It began with two moms sharing about their international adoption journeys. There were amazing moments such as one mom sharing how she woke up one morning (Oct 27) and felt that something wonderful had happened that day. She decided to call her social worker and ask her how close they were to any news coming in. The social worker said it could be months. About three days later they were called and told they had a son. He was born..... on October 27!!
Another mom gave up her daughter on November 17 and it was always a hard time for her. Every year she fell into a slump in November. Then one day she and her husband were waiting to adopt. Her phone call came through with her new daughter on.... November 17.
God is amazing in His timing! There were so many more stories like this!
The day was so full of emotion. We were all a mess with tears and sniffing and snuffling!! It all began (for me) when one of the intercountry workers had her son come up and talk. He was so cute. He came up and climbed up on the big stool and then gave us the biggest nine year old smile I have ever seen! He then began telling how he went to Thailand and met his birth mom. He said when he met her they, 'hugged, and hugged, and hugged.' After he left her he told his adopted mom, 'that was the best day of my life.' This all coming from an eight year old boy. It was profound!
This was followed by a video called, "Reunion in Vietnam". It was an amazing story of three children that were airlifted out during the end of the Vietnam War. They found their family and it was something to witness! More bawling.
After this we saw birth moms and birth children and heard their stories. I could never tell you the emotions we felt. Each and every story was different. They were so amazing, so remarkable, such journies of heartaches and heart's desires being met.
By the end of the day I think we all felt really wrung out from all we had heard. I thought I knew what we needed to hear, but hearing these stories filled in all kinds of information I didn't know we needed to know. You are told to ask questions, but this is all new to you. So how can you ask questions when you don't know what to ask? Then they would tell you their stories and their experiences and you would learn so much! I can't even begin to explain.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Day 1 - Seminar
We have completed our first day at the seminar. It was great!! When we left Briton this morning I didn't know if he would fuss. At first when we were talking he got the gist that we were going out so he got his shoes and was trying to put them on. He seemed a little agitated that we might be going and he wanted to be ready. Then I hugged him and told him he would be staying with Mrs. Geddes and Cooper and he said his first sentence, "Bye Mum." *smile* Cooper was more than happy to see us go! He really wanted to hang out with the Mrs. Geddes and her big boys!
Going For Icecream
Back With Icecream
Bedtime
Ray and I headed out and got to the seminar at 8:30. We were greeted with a nice continental breakfast buffet and helped ourselves. In the conference room there were about 40 people! We grabbed a table with a couple that we met last time and a new lady. She was the nicest black lady, named C. I later told her that she thought she came to the seminar to adopt a child! I knew better - she came so I could meet her, make a connection, and learn all about the insights of little black girls in a white world! *smile*
The conference was jam packed with information. We listened to a woman who had adopted three children and was a birth mother herself, when she was a girl; a 17 year old adoptee who was so eloquent and full of information from her point of view; and another woman who taught us a lot about attachment disorders; we then saw videos on car seat safety and another on fetal alcohal syndrome. There was more and the time passed very quickly! We were well fed with two quality snack breaks and then a wonderful hot lunch of salad and lasagne. The catering was done by a culinary school! Amazing!
While we were sitting there I thought about creating a list of all the people with email addresses. This way if we wanted to create a group on Yahoo or anything we would have the connection. We passed it around and all signed up. Then at the end of the day one of the speakers mentioned that on the last day they usually do this and she had noticed someone had already thought of it. She was pleased. Well, I just see it from a selfish point of view! This is another link for us and our kids in the way of support when we all adopt.
We met a couple that were in the group last time and discovered that they had spent about 6 weeks in Ethiopia in 2000 and loved it! They knew the restaurant that we are planning to go to tomorrow, for dinner. They said it is wonderful. They also said it is such a kid - family friendly restaurant that their son was allowed (encouraged) to run around in the restaurant, go in the kitchen etc. This is just the report that I had heard from other people who also love the restaurant. It just confirms again what we have heard about the Ethiopians being such a child friendly nation!
We will be going there tomorrow for dinner. When we came home today, we were about 45 minutes earlier than expected. Cooper, Briton, and Mrs. G were on the way out the door to get icecream and go grocery shopping! We are going to Ray's brother's for dinner and so she promised to take them quickly for icecream and then bring them back. Briton was quite determined to not miss out. At first he thought he was staying home with us. No attachment problems there! *laugh*
Yeah! We Are Not Criminals!
Today (Tuesday) Ray and I received official word that we are NOT criminals!!! YEAH!!!! That was our last security clearance that we had to go through!!!! They were InterPol Checks (international police checks) The other official looking envelopes at the post office were our fingerprints coming back - signed and stamped by the RCMP!!!
A God of Provision
I am hoping that people who do not believe in miracles or who have never been blessed to experience a miracle, will find my blog. Our God is a God of miracles!
When we started out on this journey called "Adoption", I knew that it would take a lot of miracles to cover the cost. I also was under the firm belief that "When God Gives A Vision, He Makes Provision". But because I needed to have proof that He would provide, I prayed, "God if this adoption is going to be covered by You, then I need to see this. Please send a sizeable chunk of money, and then I will have faith to step into this with the savings we have and trust You for the rest."
About two weeks later, dear friends sent us money. Call me Gideon - but I was a bit skeptical at first. I had to doublecheck with her if she was 'being nice' or if she felt truly 'led' to give. Being nice, you see, in my analytical mind, would not fall under the catagory of God sending a 'sizeable chunk of money'. *grin* She very quickly assured me that she had been going to send this money all along and she was not 'being nice'. I believed, but still....
The last time we went to a seminar the cost was $200 and our garage sale got us $255, plus a friend gave us coupons for the local donut shop, so we bought breakfast on the way down. Today we were planning to eat on the way and then our friend who is having us stay told us she is holding dinner for us. That will save us the cost of eating on the way. The cost of the drive is about $150 in gas and the seminar is $600. This morning, I was thinking about the fact that God has provided for us in other ways, and I was wondering how He was going to provide for this. I knew we had savings, but I also know that there would come a point when the savings run out and then it would be a faith walk.
Then this afternoon, on our way to the coast for our seminar, we stopped at the post office. There were a number of official looking envelopes and one of them said: Minister of Finance, Provincial Treasury. I opened the envelope and stared at this cheque, trying to digest why there was a cheque from the government with my husband's name on it! There was no explanatory letter - just this cheque and stamped all over it was: Not Negotiable. I told my husband that there was no way I was going to negotiate this cheque!! It was in the amount of $750!!! Do you see how much money that is???? The cost of the seminar, plus the gas money!!! I am floored. I am NOT surprised. My God is an AWESOME God! And THAT is why I worship and praise Him. Jehovah Jireh are words that came to me early on in this process. They mean - God Provider. No doubt!! I know that the government didn't make a mistake.
For those that have moments of little faith (like I certainly do!!) today was a day when I truly felt God was saying YES you are going to adopt. I sent you another "Sizeable Chunk of money" since you were a Doubting Thomas on the first money I sent you! So now I KNOW.
When we started out on this journey called "Adoption", I knew that it would take a lot of miracles to cover the cost. I also was under the firm belief that "When God Gives A Vision, He Makes Provision". But because I needed to have proof that He would provide, I prayed, "God if this adoption is going to be covered by You, then I need to see this. Please send a sizeable chunk of money, and then I will have faith to step into this with the savings we have and trust You for the rest."
About two weeks later, dear friends sent us money. Call me Gideon - but I was a bit skeptical at first. I had to doublecheck with her if she was 'being nice' or if she felt truly 'led' to give. Being nice, you see, in my analytical mind, would not fall under the catagory of God sending a 'sizeable chunk of money'. *grin* She very quickly assured me that she had been going to send this money all along and she was not 'being nice'. I believed, but still....
The last time we went to a seminar the cost was $200 and our garage sale got us $255, plus a friend gave us coupons for the local donut shop, so we bought breakfast on the way down. Today we were planning to eat on the way and then our friend who is having us stay told us she is holding dinner for us. That will save us the cost of eating on the way. The cost of the drive is about $150 in gas and the seminar is $600. This morning, I was thinking about the fact that God has provided for us in other ways, and I was wondering how He was going to provide for this. I knew we had savings, but I also know that there would come a point when the savings run out and then it would be a faith walk.
Then this afternoon, on our way to the coast for our seminar, we stopped at the post office. There were a number of official looking envelopes and one of them said: Minister of Finance, Provincial Treasury. I opened the envelope and stared at this cheque, trying to digest why there was a cheque from the government with my husband's name on it! There was no explanatory letter - just this cheque and stamped all over it was: Not Negotiable. I told my husband that there was no way I was going to negotiate this cheque!! It was in the amount of $750!!! Do you see how much money that is???? The cost of the seminar, plus the gas money!!! I am floored. I am NOT surprised. My God is an AWESOME God! And THAT is why I worship and praise Him. Jehovah Jireh are words that came to me early on in this process. They mean - God Provider. No doubt!! I know that the government didn't make a mistake.
For those that have moments of little faith (like I certainly do!!) today was a day when I truly felt God was saying YES you are going to adopt. I sent you another "Sizeable Chunk of money" since you were a Doubting Thomas on the first money I sent you! So now I KNOW.
Monday, August 20, 2007
A Bit of This and a Bit of That
This last few days we had family and friends receive their questionaires. These are reference questions with regard to our abilities to parent, and about us as a couple. There were three pages and the questions require indepth thinking and take some time to fill in. We have been very impressed and thankful for the attitudes of our chosen references. There were eight people that had to fill in the paperwork and they have worked so quickly.
Some examples of their kind efficiency has been: One friend filled in her paperwork and then faxed it to the office and then mailed the hardcopy. Another emailed her answers and then also mailed her actual letter. My mother in law filled hers in today and then paid $7 to Express mail it to get it to our agency as quickly as possible. We truly appreciate the efforts of our friends and family. With the amount of time everything takes we are so thankful for the help of all of you to speed things along as you can!
Tomorrow is an exciting day. Ray and I are heading to the coast to go to our three day seminar. Something interesting to note. About two months ago some friends of ours sold their house. We were all kind of hoping that they wouldn't sell and we wouldn't lose them as friends. We knew that even if they moved away they would still be friends, but it wasn't the same as having them two minutes from our house. Plus, they have 3 boys the ages of our oldest three!
Suffice it to say, it was a very weepy day the day we learned they were leaving. Upon looking in my Bible for a word of consolation I came up on Psalm 84. "When you walk through the Valley of Weeping it will become a place of springs where pools of blessing and refreshment collect after rains!"
At that moment I just claimed that verse as a promise! I needed it. Within days I was shown the blessing of our friends moving to the coast. Something that may fulfill itself in a couple years. It didn't change my feeling sad at the loss, but just reading that verse, I knew that God had a plan.
It wasn't until about two weeks later that Ray and I made the decision to adopt. We learned that we would need to be on the coast for two seminars. The first one we had babysitting lined up at our house for just one day. The second one, of course, was going to require three - four days of day care. Not an easy thing to arrange when I have never left my two year old before!! But of course, God had it all arranged. Our friends who had moved to the coast just three weeks ago have graciously allowed us to stay at their house while we are down there. Their house is just about 20 minutes or so from where we will be at the seminar. On top of that, my friend L. will be babysitting our two youngest children during the day while we are at the seminar! How awesome is that!!! God is good ALL THE TIME!
Colt and Dane came home yesterday at 2:00 am! Then a mere 16 hours later they were packed and out the door again. This time to go work at the Bible camp near us. Cassidy, also, left with them. He starts camp today (this morning) but went with them so that I wouldn't have to drive him out again this morning. He ended up with an extra night at camp that way, too. They will all be at camp until Saturday.
So, that leaves one little boy to find a home for *grin*. He was welcome to have gone with the two little ones to the coast but a friend of ours was over recently and we arranged for him to go to her house from Tuesday - Saturday. He is quite happy about this to say the least!
While Ray and I are on the coast we are going to an Ethiopian restaurant in the 'big city'. I am excited about this!!! Today I called the restaurant to see if we needed reservations and I have to tell you - when I got off the phone I gave a little squeal of excitement. It is hard to explain. We are adopting (Lord willing) two little girls from Ethiopia, and I spoke with a real live Ethiopian today! *laugh* - Do you realize how close that made me feel to Ethiopia??? I have learned through another adoptive family that came from our town (before they moved away) that he and his family moved from Ethiopia 18 months ago and they are apparently wonderful people.
In Ethiopia they do not have dining tables like ours. Their tables are baskets on stands. Imagine a wicker table shaped like an hour glass. On top of the hour glass is a round shaped top with a raised lip. This is your table. Onto the table they place a 'tablecloth' of injera. This is kind of like a pancake (but tastes different). This is what your food is served onto. Then you are also given pieces of rolled up injera. You use the rolled up injera to pick up your food and you also eat 'the tablecloth'! *laugh* Can't wait to try this!!
The method of eating (if you do it correctly) is that you wash your hands, (there is a bowl of water brought around) use only your right hand, and then you communally share the same meal. For people like me - who are 'picky' when it comes to germs *grin* - there are rules. *Good!* Never lick your fingers, don't touch your fingers to your mouth, etc.
My only thing I am dreading is that we are taking Briton and Cooper. Actually Cooper would be great, but Briton???? He is 2 and used to a highchair -need I say more??? It will be an experience!
After our seminar we are onto the next stage. OOOOOHHHHHH so exciiiiiiitting!!!!! Then we get the questionaires that *we* have to answer and after that there is the assignment of the social worker!!
I have to tell you this is so much more exciting than a pregnancy!! *laugh* Seriously, when you are pregnant the first time you feel your baby kick is so thrilling. Well, imagine that feeling happening all the time *for the first time*!
That is what this feels like: 1) getting the paperwork started 2)first seminar 3)signing with and being accepted by agencies 4) hurdles being crossed 5) next seminar 6) meeting social worker - and that is as far as we are so far. There will be so many more *first times* to come!
Oh, we have 'our girls' or as Austin calls them - 'my sisters' - *smile* - hanging on the stair wall now. Yesterday, Ray took the rug and stained a 1x6 board that was about 8 feet long. He then attached the rug to it and hung it on the wall. When I was upstairs at the far end of the house, in the boy's room, I could see across the landing, over the railing, onto the stair wall. There hanging on the wall I could see the girls praying. It was really quite beautiful, because the stair light creates a showcase effect on the rug!!! And the colours on our stairs are stunning. This was no accident!
Some examples of their kind efficiency has been: One friend filled in her paperwork and then faxed it to the office and then mailed the hardcopy. Another emailed her answers and then also mailed her actual letter. My mother in law filled hers in today and then paid $7 to Express mail it to get it to our agency as quickly as possible. We truly appreciate the efforts of our friends and family. With the amount of time everything takes we are so thankful for the help of all of you to speed things along as you can!
Tomorrow is an exciting day. Ray and I are heading to the coast to go to our three day seminar. Something interesting to note. About two months ago some friends of ours sold their house. We were all kind of hoping that they wouldn't sell and we wouldn't lose them as friends. We knew that even if they moved away they would still be friends, but it wasn't the same as having them two minutes from our house. Plus, they have 3 boys the ages of our oldest three!
Suffice it to say, it was a very weepy day the day we learned they were leaving. Upon looking in my Bible for a word of consolation I came up on Psalm 84. "When you walk through the Valley of Weeping it will become a place of springs where pools of blessing and refreshment collect after rains!"
At that moment I just claimed that verse as a promise! I needed it. Within days I was shown the blessing of our friends moving to the coast. Something that may fulfill itself in a couple years. It didn't change my feeling sad at the loss, but just reading that verse, I knew that God had a plan.
It wasn't until about two weeks later that Ray and I made the decision to adopt. We learned that we would need to be on the coast for two seminars. The first one we had babysitting lined up at our house for just one day. The second one, of course, was going to require three - four days of day care. Not an easy thing to arrange when I have never left my two year old before!! But of course, God had it all arranged. Our friends who had moved to the coast just three weeks ago have graciously allowed us to stay at their house while we are down there. Their house is just about 20 minutes or so from where we will be at the seminar. On top of that, my friend L. will be babysitting our two youngest children during the day while we are at the seminar! How awesome is that!!! God is good ALL THE TIME!
Colt and Dane came home yesterday at 2:00 am! Then a mere 16 hours later they were packed and out the door again. This time to go work at the Bible camp near us. Cassidy, also, left with them. He starts camp today (this morning) but went with them so that I wouldn't have to drive him out again this morning. He ended up with an extra night at camp that way, too. They will all be at camp until Saturday.
So, that leaves one little boy to find a home for *grin*. He was welcome to have gone with the two little ones to the coast but a friend of ours was over recently and we arranged for him to go to her house from Tuesday - Saturday. He is quite happy about this to say the least!
While Ray and I are on the coast we are going to an Ethiopian restaurant in the 'big city'. I am excited about this!!! Today I called the restaurant to see if we needed reservations and I have to tell you - when I got off the phone I gave a little squeal of excitement. It is hard to explain. We are adopting (Lord willing) two little girls from Ethiopia, and I spoke with a real live Ethiopian today! *laugh* - Do you realize how close that made me feel to Ethiopia??? I have learned through another adoptive family that came from our town (before they moved away) that he and his family moved from Ethiopia 18 months ago and they are apparently wonderful people.
In Ethiopia they do not have dining tables like ours. Their tables are baskets on stands. Imagine a wicker table shaped like an hour glass. On top of the hour glass is a round shaped top with a raised lip. This is your table. Onto the table they place a 'tablecloth' of injera. This is kind of like a pancake (but tastes different). This is what your food is served onto. Then you are also given pieces of rolled up injera. You use the rolled up injera to pick up your food and you also eat 'the tablecloth'! *laugh* Can't wait to try this!!
The method of eating (if you do it correctly) is that you wash your hands, (there is a bowl of water brought around) use only your right hand, and then you communally share the same meal. For people like me - who are 'picky' when it comes to germs *grin* - there are rules. *Good!* Never lick your fingers, don't touch your fingers to your mouth, etc.
My only thing I am dreading is that we are taking Briton and Cooper. Actually Cooper would be great, but Briton???? He is 2 and used to a highchair -need I say more??? It will be an experience!
After our seminar we are onto the next stage. OOOOOHHHHHH so exciiiiiiitting!!!!! Then we get the questionaires that *we* have to answer and after that there is the assignment of the social worker!!
I have to tell you this is so much more exciting than a pregnancy!! *laugh* Seriously, when you are pregnant the first time you feel your baby kick is so thrilling. Well, imagine that feeling happening all the time *for the first time*!
That is what this feels like: 1) getting the paperwork started 2)first seminar 3)signing with and being accepted by agencies 4) hurdles being crossed 5) next seminar 6) meeting social worker - and that is as far as we are so far. There will be so many more *first times* to come!
Oh, we have 'our girls' or as Austin calls them - 'my sisters' - *smile* - hanging on the stair wall now. Yesterday, Ray took the rug and stained a 1x6 board that was about 8 feet long. He then attached the rug to it and hung it on the wall. When I was upstairs at the far end of the house, in the boy's room, I could see across the landing, over the railing, onto the stair wall. There hanging on the wall I could see the girls praying. It was really quite beautiful, because the stair light creates a showcase effect on the rug!!! And the colours on our stairs are stunning. This was no accident!
Friday, August 17, 2007
Project Seed Bags
"what are you going to tell your granchildren... when they ask you....what did you do while an entire continent whitered away from AIDS?" ~BONO~
I feel heavy tonight. It is hard to explain, but since this adoption has become such a huge part of our lives it has become so much more than that. The adoption put our eyes on Africa. Before this Africa was 'way over there'. Another continent. But suddenly it is like there is a microscope on this continent and we have learned more about the land and its people and their crises' in the last 7 weeks than we had learned in our entire lives.
Last night I was talking to Ray and I said how this is all so much bigger than I had realized. This is no longer about us getting a little girl. My heart is so in Africa now. As I listen to a song tonight I hear the words, "How can I turn away? Brother sister go dancing through my head human as to human. The future is no place to place your better days."
Last year a group came to our church and talked about "Project Seed Bags". Each bag brings the children a 14 lesson study on the Gospel of Jesus Christ and a New Testament. They each receive a quality toy and crayons and a stationary set to use as the child studies. Through these seed bags the children are taught about abstinance and safety from AIDS. They are taught by missionaries and the seed bags are financed through churches and individual donors.
We watched a video on this project and it does amazing things! These children (reached at about grade 5 level) are given such hope!! Someone is telling them what AIDS is! They are taught there are ways to avoid it! I have learned from reading There Is No Me Without You, that most Africans don't even know how AIDS is spread because while they are HIV positive many keep it secret because they don't want the ostracization. So because of the secrets people aren't properly educated as to how they get it and how to treat people with it. It is such a tangled mess! With the Seed Bag Project the children are taught at a young age that they CAN fight back and they can win! HOPE!
At the time our family decided to sponsor a school. That meant that for a $100 a month a whole school would be educated. That means that each year that we stay committed to this school about 40 children will not die of AIDS because they will be taught what it all means and how to protect themselves!
Project Seed Bag Classroom
Our oldest son was also at the meeting and was moved enough to commit himself to $30 a month - he knew that his money would save one child a month.
If you are interested in how you can help, please follow the link below and check out their websites. They will show you schools that can be adopted. They will send you a picture of your school and you will get updates on a yearly basis, plus a school report.
https://www.seeds.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=24&Itemid=69
The so sad thing is that before this adoption came up I was at a point of thinking that we should stop the money from going to that charity and route it somewhere else. I didn't think about it again until tonight and then I got thinking....
If our money will save 40 children a year, then in 10 years there will be 400 children in Africa that don't die because of one family's donation. Think how that will mushroom! Those 400 children will teach *their* husbands or wives and their children the *truth* about AIDS and prevention. Those 400 children will grow to so many more. All through one family.
We will not be stopping our help. That, I suppose, is what Bono talks about when he says - ONE. What an effect that ONE person or ONE family can have. Will you join in?
I think there will be more for us in Africa than a daughter. When Ray and I were talking last night I told him that I felt myself being drawn over there. I would like, one day, to go there for an extended period of time. Maybe even as a family, sooner rather than later. I don't know what we could do over there, but I am certain there is something that we would be capable of doing to help the people. I have heard nothing but glowing reports of how wonderful the people and the country are and I can't wait to go there.
I can't believe how blind I was before! It took a little child to open my eyes to what is happening.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
An Amazing Book to "Inspire and Agitate"
I am reading the most amazing book about a woman who is working to save her country's children, one at a time. What follows is a very traumatic, heart wrenching scene from within this book. When I read this part of the book, it made our original reasoning in adopting an older child, very unimportant. We had decided on an older child (as well as a little one) so that our four to eight year old children, would have a sister that fitted right into their age range.
When I saw how the abandonment devastated this little girl (even that is too light a word!) it made me want to be *the* family that could stop her, or another one just like her, from languishing in an orphanage for years, simply because they were 'too old' - over babyhood - to adopt. Babies appear to be the most desireable adoptees.
I want us to be the family that gets that wonderful phone call that we have been chosen to have the privilege of being an older child's forever family - so that she will no longer feel abandoned.
Excerpt taken from: There Is No Me Without You - by Melissa Faye Greene
Background - this little girl (5) and her little brother (3) have been raised by their mother, father, two aunts, and a grandfather. The mother and father have recently died of Aids. The remaining family realize they can't raise the children and very lovingly prepare them (dress them, braid their hair, hug, and kiss them) to be be left at the orphanage. They are standing in the courtyard all together when suddenly Mekdes realizes her aunts are leaving...
- they were walking towards the exit! Mekdes shrieked and ran after them. How would she find her way home to her grandfather? Aunt Fasika and Aunt Zewdenesh turned around; they stroked Mekdes's face, kissed her many times, and told her good-bye.
Haregewoin (the lady with the orphanage) stepped up and took Mekdes's arm, restraining her as the aunts slipped out the metal door to the street and pulled it shut behind them.
Mekdes turned inside out with grief and terror. She understood; she was being abandoned! She arched her back in protest. She pulled out of Haregewoin's grasp, fell backward to the ground, and writhed there, beginning to shriek.
Then she stood up and ran after the departing adults. She ran straight at the metal door of the compound, without slowing down, and hit it with a bang; it threw her back onto the dirt; she was up again in an instant, running straight at the door again. Bang. Beserk, she screamed and ran in circles. She whirled and cried in high aii aii aii whoops. She dodged the elderly compound guard and aimed full tilt at the door again, determined to run straight through it and all the way home. Bang. It knocked her back. In the dirt, she went through all the prostrations of grief; she knelt facing the door, bowed forward til her head touched the dust, brought up fistfuls of dirt, and dropped it on the back of her head and neck as she cradled her head. She moaned and rocked and reached her hands out beseechingly toward the metal door.
I (the author) slipped out the door myself to see what had become of the adults who'd dropped off the brother and sister. I thought I'd spot them at the top of the dirt hill, heading home, but they were right there, right outside the compound door, and they, too, were grief-stricken. Two pretty young women in their twenties had covered their faces with their shawls and were rocking and moaning, too: "Aii aii aii," they cried. One held out her hands palms up as if asking God for answers. Elderly Haj Mohammed's (the man who helped bring the children) eyes looked red and hurt. People in the street gave them wide berth. Then we all heard bang and knew that Mekdes had flown into the door again; then again bang. I began sobbing, too. I rummaged through my backpack. "I have two hundred dollars," I told my driver and friend Selamneh. "If I give it to them, could they take the children home again?"
"No," he said, "Let it be. They are too poor to raise the children."
The adults looked at me with their red eyes and I looked back at them the same way. Bang! went the door. There was nothing to say. Head bowed, I stepped back inside.
The elderly guard picked Mekdes up from the dirt and carried her toward the house. She went limp and fell backward in his arms as though she had fainted. When that didn't make him stop, she began kicking and screaming again, the passion and terror unabated. Haregewoin approached and took the thrashing child. Mekdes twisted and flailed and cried, and Haregewoin, with squinting eyes, averted face, and strong arms, absorbed the blows.
Haregewoin was used to this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I will be buying this book for a couple family members because it tells the complete story of Ethiopia, AIDS, poverty, and orphans. Truly amazing!
To quote the back, "There Is No Me Without You is spectacular, both in its intimacy and in its reach. Melissa Fay Greene's writing sings. It agitates. It inspires. Even those who think they know about the AIDS crisis in Africa will savor this book; and for those who know little or nothing about it, this is the way in, a way paved with decency and with hope. It is our contemporary Schindler's Lis, one person's herioic efforts to right a tilting world. After you read There Is No Me Without You, the world will never look the same." Alex Kotlowitz - author of There Are No Children Here
When I saw how the abandonment devastated this little girl (even that is too light a word!) it made me want to be *the* family that could stop her, or another one just like her, from languishing in an orphanage for years, simply because they were 'too old' - over babyhood - to adopt. Babies appear to be the most desireable adoptees.
I want us to be the family that gets that wonderful phone call that we have been chosen to have the privilege of being an older child's forever family - so that she will no longer feel abandoned.
Excerpt taken from: There Is No Me Without You - by Melissa Faye Greene
Background - this little girl (5) and her little brother (3) have been raised by their mother, father, two aunts, and a grandfather. The mother and father have recently died of Aids. The remaining family realize they can't raise the children and very lovingly prepare them (dress them, braid their hair, hug, and kiss them) to be be left at the orphanage. They are standing in the courtyard all together when suddenly Mekdes realizes her aunts are leaving...
- they were walking towards the exit! Mekdes shrieked and ran after them. How would she find her way home to her grandfather? Aunt Fasika and Aunt Zewdenesh turned around; they stroked Mekdes's face, kissed her many times, and told her good-bye.
Haregewoin (the lady with the orphanage) stepped up and took Mekdes's arm, restraining her as the aunts slipped out the metal door to the street and pulled it shut behind them.
Mekdes turned inside out with grief and terror. She understood; she was being abandoned! She arched her back in protest. She pulled out of Haregewoin's grasp, fell backward to the ground, and writhed there, beginning to shriek.
Then she stood up and ran after the departing adults. She ran straight at the metal door of the compound, without slowing down, and hit it with a bang; it threw her back onto the dirt; she was up again in an instant, running straight at the door again. Bang. Beserk, she screamed and ran in circles. She whirled and cried in high aii aii aii whoops. She dodged the elderly compound guard and aimed full tilt at the door again, determined to run straight through it and all the way home. Bang. It knocked her back. In the dirt, she went through all the prostrations of grief; she knelt facing the door, bowed forward til her head touched the dust, brought up fistfuls of dirt, and dropped it on the back of her head and neck as she cradled her head. She moaned and rocked and reached her hands out beseechingly toward the metal door.
I (the author) slipped out the door myself to see what had become of the adults who'd dropped off the brother and sister. I thought I'd spot them at the top of the dirt hill, heading home, but they were right there, right outside the compound door, and they, too, were grief-stricken. Two pretty young women in their twenties had covered their faces with their shawls and were rocking and moaning, too: "Aii aii aii," they cried. One held out her hands palms up as if asking God for answers. Elderly Haj Mohammed's (the man who helped bring the children) eyes looked red and hurt. People in the street gave them wide berth. Then we all heard bang and knew that Mekdes had flown into the door again; then again bang. I began sobbing, too. I rummaged through my backpack. "I have two hundred dollars," I told my driver and friend Selamneh. "If I give it to them, could they take the children home again?"
"No," he said, "Let it be. They are too poor to raise the children."
The adults looked at me with their red eyes and I looked back at them the same way. Bang! went the door. There was nothing to say. Head bowed, I stepped back inside.
The elderly guard picked Mekdes up from the dirt and carried her toward the house. She went limp and fell backward in his arms as though she had fainted. When that didn't make him stop, she began kicking and screaming again, the passion and terror unabated. Haregewoin approached and took the thrashing child. Mekdes twisted and flailed and cried, and Haregewoin, with squinting eyes, averted face, and strong arms, absorbed the blows.
Haregewoin was used to this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I will be buying this book for a couple family members because it tells the complete story of Ethiopia, AIDS, poverty, and orphans. Truly amazing!
To quote the back, "There Is No Me Without You is spectacular, both in its intimacy and in its reach. Melissa Fay Greene's writing sings. It agitates. It inspires. Even those who think they know about the AIDS crisis in Africa will savor this book; and for those who know little or nothing about it, this is the way in, a way paved with decency and with hope. It is our contemporary Schindler's Lis, one person's herioic efforts to right a tilting world. After you read There Is No Me Without You, the world will never look the same." Alex Kotlowitz - author of There Are No Children Here
Monday, August 13, 2007
Medicals Cleared!!!
Friday, Ray and I went in and got our TB skin tests. This is to show if we have TB. You would think we would know if we had this or not. I guess not! I had a BCG done when I was 14, in England, and so there was a risk that I would show up with a positive reaction. This would mean that I would have to get a chest x-ray.
Today, we went in to the office to get our skin tests 'read'. They measure the bump under the skin and go from there. Ray's read negative and mine read doubtful. For a few minutes there it was a bit of a hold my breath situation. I knew it was no big deal, but it would mean a chest x-ray, which was one more thing to do. The nurse looked through all her paperwork (while I prayed) and finally came up with the conclusion that I didn't need the x-ray.
We went over to the doctor's office and had another doctor in the clinic go over the test results. All was fine!! The thing that *could* have been a problem in my file was not even mentioned. My own doctor didn't even see it as anything but *I* had not been so sure. Praising God that it was not something I had to 'explain'. That was one of my 'unbeliefs' *smile*.
So our medicals are free and clear!! YEAH!!
Now I get to package them up and mail them off. As far as the dossier for Ethiopia goes - we only have to wait for the Interpol clearance and Ray's passport now, plus, of course, the homestudy, which will begin in about 2-3 weeks.
Today, we went in to the office to get our skin tests 'read'. They measure the bump under the skin and go from there. Ray's read negative and mine read doubtful. For a few minutes there it was a bit of a hold my breath situation. I knew it was no big deal, but it would mean a chest x-ray, which was one more thing to do. The nurse looked through all her paperwork (while I prayed) and finally came up with the conclusion that I didn't need the x-ray.
We went over to the doctor's office and had another doctor in the clinic go over the test results. All was fine!! The thing that *could* have been a problem in my file was not even mentioned. My own doctor didn't even see it as anything but *I* had not been so sure. Praising God that it was not something I had to 'explain'. That was one of my 'unbeliefs' *smile*.
So our medicals are free and clear!! YEAH!!
Now I get to package them up and mail them off. As far as the dossier for Ethiopia goes - we only have to wait for the Interpol clearance and Ray's passport now, plus, of course, the homestudy, which will begin in about 2-3 weeks.
Let Go of Unbelief and Let God
I went to church yesterday with our family and I thought, "I hope there is a message that speaks to me, today." The pastor continued on with something he had been preaching on the week before and I followed along. Soon though, I had to get out my bulletin and start jotting down notes and shortly after that I had to get another scrap of paper because my bulletin was all filled in. It was so pertinent to where we are now!
Things I got were:
"When you do the will of God you will receive what He has promised."
A portion of a prayer that he prayed was: "Allow the tethers of unbelief to be broken so we may move forward with what you have for us."
This is a *big* one for me. I too often think: there are so many hurdles! And just this week I have struggled a little bit with thinking of the potential problems that could stop us.
The pastor talked of pregnancy and conception and how many women 'know' when they conceived. They just 'know'. He likened this to the fact that some people know when God has planted a seed.
There are only three times that I can remember when I *knew* when God had planted a seed. Once was when we were to make the move from the coast to here, eight years ago. That could have been considered a ludicrous decision. Selling our house, putting everything in storage, and the thrill of heading 'out' - just like the pioneers - to the big country and looking at land in any area until we felt it was the 'right' place to be. And then having to trust that we could begin our business there and survive. Four children - one 5 weeks old! Nuts!
But God was there every step of the way. I *knew* the seed was planted before there was any evidence that we *were* moving. But as I looked back, in hindsight, I could *see* the trail. It was so clearly illuminated. The path in front was not. We knew we were moving because the evidence showed us this - but to where? and to do what? we didn't know these things. But we knew that God would show us 'feeling' by 'feeling' as we went. And He did. Each time we took a step of faith, He gave us the next 'indicator' or opened the next obvious door or closed a door and then when we looked around we saw the window open and so we climbed through - and there before us was the path illuminated a few more feet. And on we went - step by step.
A year ago, when we moved from the country to the town it was the same thing. I had said I would *never* move from there. It was 11 acres of heaven in the country with dirt roads and awesome neighbours and the 'right' lifestyle. My husband though was getting tired of the long drive (40 minutes) to town everyday (on dirt roads!) and I know he would have moved if I agreed.
My husband and I won a trip to Toronto. At the last minute I missed out on it because the kids got sick. We were all devastated. It felt like a real loss. He and one son went and the rest of us lost out. *But* what felt like a loss quickly was shown to be God at work. He *needed* to get me alone to get my attention. Within hours of being alone I got the 'feeling' I should get the house appraised. The following day the children and I went and looked at pieces of property.
Within two weeks of my husband arriving home our house was on the market. Two months later (over the Christmas season) we sold our house - way above price! God is good. When He calls and you *trust* - you will be rewarded. It was a good move and we see the results.
The third seed that was planted was the decision to adopt a child from Africa. That seed was so evident. If you 'look' you can always see the path behind you (of 'coincidences' etc) and it is *exciting* to see that a God that is big enough to create our world cares enough about *me* or you, to want to walk us towards something that is so important to us!
Just step out when you feel the call to do something. Even if it feels irrational and risky. And the biggest one of all - what will people think??? How can we possibly believe we will get a child from Africa? There are so many hurdles. So many reasons not to believe. We will look 'stupid' if it fails. And that is unbelief. Therefore I will believe, no matter what people might think!
He spoke of this and said something to the tune of:
Don't worry about your reputation. God may just take it away for a while.
And a few final words that really spoke to me:
Prayer: "..... that we would believe. Help our unbelief. Don't let me worry that I am going to look stupid or a liar...."
This is me worrying that: "What if it doesn't happen. I'll look like a real idiot for believing so firmly."
"You do not always see results right away. You are fighting a fight of faith."
"Satan will continue to beat you down. You must believe in order to receive!"
This was so amazing to me because that is a personal message to me this week!!! I *so* believe but it does not stop the enemy from popping little thoughts into my head about things that could be considered problems.
And his final message was:
"Let go of unbelief and let God."
I will BELIEVE!!!
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8
Things I got were:
"When you do the will of God you will receive what He has promised."
A portion of a prayer that he prayed was: "Allow the tethers of unbelief to be broken so we may move forward with what you have for us."
This is a *big* one for me. I too often think: there are so many hurdles! And just this week I have struggled a little bit with thinking of the potential problems that could stop us.
The pastor talked of pregnancy and conception and how many women 'know' when they conceived. They just 'know'. He likened this to the fact that some people know when God has planted a seed.
There are only three times that I can remember when I *knew* when God had planted a seed. Once was when we were to make the move from the coast to here, eight years ago. That could have been considered a ludicrous decision. Selling our house, putting everything in storage, and the thrill of heading 'out' - just like the pioneers - to the big country and looking at land in any area until we felt it was the 'right' place to be. And then having to trust that we could begin our business there and survive. Four children - one 5 weeks old! Nuts!
But God was there every step of the way. I *knew* the seed was planted before there was any evidence that we *were* moving. But as I looked back, in hindsight, I could *see* the trail. It was so clearly illuminated. The path in front was not. We knew we were moving because the evidence showed us this - but to where? and to do what? we didn't know these things. But we knew that God would show us 'feeling' by 'feeling' as we went. And He did. Each time we took a step of faith, He gave us the next 'indicator' or opened the next obvious door or closed a door and then when we looked around we saw the window open and so we climbed through - and there before us was the path illuminated a few more feet. And on we went - step by step.
A year ago, when we moved from the country to the town it was the same thing. I had said I would *never* move from there. It was 11 acres of heaven in the country with dirt roads and awesome neighbours and the 'right' lifestyle. My husband though was getting tired of the long drive (40 minutes) to town everyday (on dirt roads!) and I know he would have moved if I agreed.
My husband and I won a trip to Toronto. At the last minute I missed out on it because the kids got sick. We were all devastated. It felt like a real loss. He and one son went and the rest of us lost out. *But* what felt like a loss quickly was shown to be God at work. He *needed* to get me alone to get my attention. Within hours of being alone I got the 'feeling' I should get the house appraised. The following day the children and I went and looked at pieces of property.
Within two weeks of my husband arriving home our house was on the market. Two months later (over the Christmas season) we sold our house - way above price! God is good. When He calls and you *trust* - you will be rewarded. It was a good move and we see the results.
The third seed that was planted was the decision to adopt a child from Africa. That seed was so evident. If you 'look' you can always see the path behind you (of 'coincidences' etc) and it is *exciting* to see that a God that is big enough to create our world cares enough about *me* or you, to want to walk us towards something that is so important to us!
Just step out when you feel the call to do something. Even if it feels irrational and risky. And the biggest one of all - what will people think??? How can we possibly believe we will get a child from Africa? There are so many hurdles. So many reasons not to believe. We will look 'stupid' if it fails. And that is unbelief. Therefore I will believe, no matter what people might think!
He spoke of this and said something to the tune of:
Don't worry about your reputation. God may just take it away for a while.
And a few final words that really spoke to me:
Prayer: "..... that we would believe. Help our unbelief. Don't let me worry that I am going to look stupid or a liar...."
This is me worrying that: "What if it doesn't happen. I'll look like a real idiot for believing so firmly."
"You do not always see results right away. You are fighting a fight of faith."
"Satan will continue to beat you down. You must believe in order to receive!"
This was so amazing to me because that is a personal message to me this week!!! I *so* believe but it does not stop the enemy from popping little thoughts into my head about things that could be considered problems.
And his final message was:
"Let go of unbelief and let God."
I will BELIEVE!!!
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Sometimes We Need Encouragement
At times when you are in this process it can be daunting. Comparing pregnancy to adoption - I can tell you there are similarities and differences. I will only comment up to this point as I have not gone far enough to give valid opinions much farther. I will make those observations later. *smile* But I can tell you, having had six *amazing* pregnancies - where I had a minimal 1-3 weeks nausea, climbed fences til I gave birth, complete labour and deliveries in 1.5 hours (5 times) - my pregnancies were easy! So the waiting and waiting and waiting part of the adoption will be harder than the pregnancy!
Last night a few things crossed my mind - I was reading blogs and certain things were coming up that could discourage me and I could think - what about that? Or that? etc. In themselves, if I focussed on them, I could become overwhelmed and think - this adoption probably won't happen! But then I am reminded that if this is God's will - it doesn't matter what obstacles come up - He knows about them and they are already planned for and already worked out!
This morning I read my devotions and each one on today's date, related to what I was feeling. I got a number of encouraging words:
"Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation." Hab 3:17-18
This is the devotion related to these words:
.... this text evidently implies the following particulars: That in the day of his distress he would fly to God; that he would maintain a holy composure of spirit under this dark dispensation, may, that in the midst of all he would indulge in a sacred joy in God, and a cheerful expectation from Him. Heroic confidence!
The second one - from Robert Schuller:
"The Lord is my strength, my song, and my salvation." Exodus 15:2
.... Don't wait because something is risky. Break loose and begin before it's possible. Only then will your dream really become a possibility!
I am making my decisions on God's ability, not on my ability.
And the last one: My Utmost for His Highest - Oswald Chambers:
"Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?" Matthew 8:26
When we are in fear we can do nothing less than pray to God, but our Lord has a right to expect that those who name His name should have an understanding confidence in Him. God expects His children to be so confident in Him that in any crisis they are the reliable ones. Our trust is in God up to a certain point, then we go back to the elementary panic prayers of those who do not know God. We get to our wit's end, showing that we have not the slightest confidence in Him and His government of the world; He seems to be asleep and we see nothing but breakers ahead.
"O ye of little faith!" If we have been learning to worship God and to trust Him, the crisis will reveal that we will go to the breaking point and not break in our confidence in Him.
Boy, oh, boy!! Thank you, Lord, for these encouraging words! I am *thankful* that when I *do* begin to 'fear', my mind *immediately* slides over to where I am reminded that if God is in this *He will* see this through. No matter what! So I remind myself *not* to look ahead at the possible boulders that may and quite probably will, be in the road ahead!
Just look to the PROMISE and stay focused on that. And the problems will be mounted as you come to them. And also, look *back* at the mercies and small helps and of course, the big helps that mysteriously come your way!
A small help - for instance: I was trying to get hold of a friend who will be taking care of our two littlest boys while we are at the seminar. She was not home. She had moved to the coast (3.5 hours away) and we had not had contact for the last three weeks. The very next day, her husband drives into my driveway! He was picking something up that belonged to their oldest son, but because he was here I was able to confirm our babysitting arrangements. God is good!
Last night a few things crossed my mind - I was reading blogs and certain things were coming up that could discourage me and I could think - what about that? Or that? etc. In themselves, if I focussed on them, I could become overwhelmed and think - this adoption probably won't happen! But then I am reminded that if this is God's will - it doesn't matter what obstacles come up - He knows about them and they are already planned for and already worked out!
This morning I read my devotions and each one on today's date, related to what I was feeling. I got a number of encouraging words:
"Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation." Hab 3:17-18
This is the devotion related to these words:
.... this text evidently implies the following particulars: That in the day of his distress he would fly to God; that he would maintain a holy composure of spirit under this dark dispensation, may, that in the midst of all he would indulge in a sacred joy in God, and a cheerful expectation from Him. Heroic confidence!
The second one - from Robert Schuller:
"The Lord is my strength, my song, and my salvation." Exodus 15:2
.... Don't wait because something is risky. Break loose and begin before it's possible. Only then will your dream really become a possibility!
I am making my decisions on God's ability, not on my ability.
And the last one: My Utmost for His Highest - Oswald Chambers:
"Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?" Matthew 8:26
When we are in fear we can do nothing less than pray to God, but our Lord has a right to expect that those who name His name should have an understanding confidence in Him. God expects His children to be so confident in Him that in any crisis they are the reliable ones. Our trust is in God up to a certain point, then we go back to the elementary panic prayers of those who do not know God. We get to our wit's end, showing that we have not the slightest confidence in Him and His government of the world; He seems to be asleep and we see nothing but breakers ahead.
"O ye of little faith!" If we have been learning to worship God and to trust Him, the crisis will reveal that we will go to the breaking point and not break in our confidence in Him.
Boy, oh, boy!! Thank you, Lord, for these encouraging words! I am *thankful* that when I *do* begin to 'fear', my mind *immediately* slides over to where I am reminded that if God is in this *He will* see this through. No matter what! So I remind myself *not* to look ahead at the possible boulders that may and quite probably will, be in the road ahead!
Just look to the PROMISE and stay focused on that. And the problems will be mounted as you come to them. And also, look *back* at the mercies and small helps and of course, the big helps that mysteriously come your way!
A small help - for instance: I was trying to get hold of a friend who will be taking care of our two littlest boys while we are at the seminar. She was not home. She had moved to the coast (3.5 hours away) and we had not had contact for the last three weeks. The very next day, her husband drives into my driveway! He was picking something up that belonged to their oldest son, but because he was here I was able to confirm our babysitting arrangements. God is good!
Fine Tuning the Connections
Ten years ago when Ray and looked into adoption for the first time, it was overwhelming. I think it was overwhelming because the internet was so new at that time - especially to us. I had no idea where to go and what to do and blogs certainly didn't exist at that time! So we shelved the idea and within days found out we were expectant with Cassidy.
Now, when we began this adoption adventure I first found an old aquaintance's blog. Upon finding her blog and reading through her entire process, I was also able to follow links from her site to other adoption blogs. These sites were all American and they were a variety of adoptions - from Ethiopia - Haiti - Ukraine. They were all encouraging and inspiring. I read them until I was up todate and then I was done. Or so I thought.
Then one week there was an article in the local paper of a couple who had originated (at least the mum had) in our area. There was a picture of them and their new little boy. I finally had time to follow up on their website and again, read it from the start of their journey to the finish.
Like anyone who is adopting can attest to, reading blogs and watching and sharing someone else's progress is second best to going through those stages yourself! I emailed the girl and we will be connecting when she comes up here sometime with her family. Through reading her blog I was able to find a bunch of other blogs.
I should mention that she and the other blogs that I read from her site (up to this point) were all from Canada, which was wonderful because it was alot more relevant than reading about American adoptions. They were from the 'other' agency in Canada, that deals with Ethiopia, and not our agency, so that information was still a little off.
So here I was finetuning a little. I was now getting information that pertained to me - Canadian versus American. But it was the other agency, but through her blog writings I would gain a little insite to 'my' Ethiopian agency, as she occasionally made comments.
One day I found a blog on her links that led me to a family that was adopting through Kidslink - my agency!! I read the entirety of that blog and then wrote to this girl, because she had mentioned that there was an online support group for people adopting from Ethiopia, through our agency!
I found this group and have signed up. So now, from the beginning of just learning about adoption in general through Americans, I have come to where I am now online with people who actually have children that will be staying in the same transition house as our child. These people will become friends and a great source of support over the next year or so. It is wonderful to see how the fine tuning of the connections has happened!! I have now been able to glean all kinds of information about the care the children are receiving in our transition house, to the type of compassionate staff at our agency, to learning all kinds of helpful information re visas, immigration, travel, guest houses, sterilizing bottles in a country where the electricity is different etc.
There are even a number of Ethiopian adoptions in BC and I am sure from what I read that at some point there will be gatherings of these families. A great support group!
I am very thankful!
Now, when we began this adoption adventure I first found an old aquaintance's blog. Upon finding her blog and reading through her entire process, I was also able to follow links from her site to other adoption blogs. These sites were all American and they were a variety of adoptions - from Ethiopia - Haiti - Ukraine. They were all encouraging and inspiring. I read them until I was up todate and then I was done. Or so I thought.
Then one week there was an article in the local paper of a couple who had originated (at least the mum had) in our area. There was a picture of them and their new little boy. I finally had time to follow up on their website and again, read it from the start of their journey to the finish.
Like anyone who is adopting can attest to, reading blogs and watching and sharing someone else's progress is second best to going through those stages yourself! I emailed the girl and we will be connecting when she comes up here sometime with her family. Through reading her blog I was able to find a bunch of other blogs.
I should mention that she and the other blogs that I read from her site (up to this point) were all from Canada, which was wonderful because it was alot more relevant than reading about American adoptions. They were from the 'other' agency in Canada, that deals with Ethiopia, and not our agency, so that information was still a little off.
So here I was finetuning a little. I was now getting information that pertained to me - Canadian versus American. But it was the other agency, but through her blog writings I would gain a little insite to 'my' Ethiopian agency, as she occasionally made comments.
One day I found a blog on her links that led me to a family that was adopting through Kidslink - my agency!! I read the entirety of that blog and then wrote to this girl, because she had mentioned that there was an online support group for people adopting from Ethiopia, through our agency!
I found this group and have signed up. So now, from the beginning of just learning about adoption in general through Americans, I have come to where I am now online with people who actually have children that will be staying in the same transition house as our child. These people will become friends and a great source of support over the next year or so. It is wonderful to see how the fine tuning of the connections has happened!! I have now been able to glean all kinds of information about the care the children are receiving in our transition house, to the type of compassionate staff at our agency, to learning all kinds of helpful information re visas, immigration, travel, guest houses, sterilizing bottles in a country where the electricity is different etc.
There are even a number of Ethiopian adoptions in BC and I am sure from what I read that at some point there will be gatherings of these families. A great support group!
I am very thankful!
A Little Update
It has been a quiet week on the adoption front. I have been crazy busy, none the less! In February, I took the four middle children on a 2 1/2 week road trip to California, and we had yet to make their journals. So this last two weeks that is what we have been doing! The four and eight year old have finished theirs. We used the Blurb program this time and they drew pictures etc and then I had to put it all into the program. Our ten year old is working on his and the 14 year old will work on his the fall when he comes home from camp.
On top of that, I have had to paint our oldest boy's room. He worked so hard on our house when we built it and he is the last to have his room personalized. It happened this way because we ordered a mural for him from the States and that took a long time to come in, and by then I was busy with school etc. So now, with him away at camp I am working hard on getting it all painted and coordinated. Now if it would only stay neat after he got home....
In the meantime... the adoption. Well, things are moving slowly. First yesterday Ray and I had to go and get our TB skin test done. We will get the results of the test on Monday and then we will take them to the doctor and she will add them to the rest of the test results and our medical reports will be ready to pick up. It turned out that though we didn't have to pay for all the medical tests (thank goodness!) we did have to pay for the forms. This was expected. It was not as cheap as I was informed though. We will be paying $100 each for the forms.
In ten days Ray and I will be leaving for the coast. We will have our last component of the educational seminar. This is a three days seminar where we learn all kinds of things about adoption. After that we are signed off for education and then the agency will assign a social worker. Well, since we live in a small town I think we have already met her! She seems nice and cooperative. She was the one that was kind enough to do our prior check the day after she began at the new office and then instantly after she had hooked up her computer!
Once at the meeting we will receive a questionaire that we need to fill in for the social worker. That is when the actual homestudy with her begins.
As far as Ray's passport goes - I mailed that regular mail (poor choice!) on July 10 and apparently upon talking to the passport office, they are only working on May 31st mailings right now!! That means we are at least 6-8 weeks from being *looked* at. We need a copy of his passport before our dossier can be submitted to Ethiopia, so we are praying for a quick processing of his passport!
On top of that, I have had to paint our oldest boy's room. He worked so hard on our house when we built it and he is the last to have his room personalized. It happened this way because we ordered a mural for him from the States and that took a long time to come in, and by then I was busy with school etc. So now, with him away at camp I am working hard on getting it all painted and coordinated. Now if it would only stay neat after he got home....
In the meantime... the adoption. Well, things are moving slowly. First yesterday Ray and I had to go and get our TB skin test done. We will get the results of the test on Monday and then we will take them to the doctor and she will add them to the rest of the test results and our medical reports will be ready to pick up. It turned out that though we didn't have to pay for all the medical tests (thank goodness!) we did have to pay for the forms. This was expected. It was not as cheap as I was informed though. We will be paying $100 each for the forms.
In ten days Ray and I will be leaving for the coast. We will have our last component of the educational seminar. This is a three days seminar where we learn all kinds of things about adoption. After that we are signed off for education and then the agency will assign a social worker. Well, since we live in a small town I think we have already met her! She seems nice and cooperative. She was the one that was kind enough to do our prior check the day after she began at the new office and then instantly after she had hooked up her computer!
Once at the meeting we will receive a questionaire that we need to fill in for the social worker. That is when the actual homestudy with her begins.
As far as Ray's passport goes - I mailed that regular mail (poor choice!) on July 10 and apparently upon talking to the passport office, they are only working on May 31st mailings right now!! That means we are at least 6-8 weeks from being *looked* at. We need a copy of his passport before our dossier can be submitted to Ethiopia, so we are praying for a quick processing of his passport!
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Surreal
Yesterday Ray and I left home at 7:00 am to drive out to see our big boys. They are away at Cadet Camp and it was our day to take them out and spend some time with them. Between working at Bible Camp for two weeks before they left for Cadet Camp, and now this last four weeks, we have not really seen our older boys for the last six weeks! The time has shot by and it was really nice to spend some time with them! For those that want to see what our great day was all about.. shoot over to my other blog
http://raisingmyboysinthecountry.blogspot.com/
You might be waiting for a few days for me to get the post up though! I am so busy with other things and the boys are busy creating journals from our California trip and I doing that.
Now for the reason for this post. Surreal. That is the name of this post. There is a good reason! Ray and I picked up the boys and took them out for the day. One of the first stops was an army surplus store. I knew our boys might find something there, but I was on a mission. I wanted some of that camo netting to hang over Dane's closet opening, as a door. Goes with his army theme room. We went through the room and then just before we were ready to leave the store I saw this rug hanging in the front of a stack of about 6 other rugs. I was in awe!! I saw a sign that said 50% off and quickly checked the price on the rug - $599.99 - typical! I have seen oriental rugs before and though they can be beautiful, they can also be expensive! Even at 50% off I wouldn't buy it! No matter the design.
Then I looked more closely. The tag was very deceptive and there actually were only 3 - 9's. It actually read $59.99!!! That meant it was $29.99!! WOW! It was a 5'x8' rug. The picture?? Five beautiful African little girls praying! While the guy was pulling it down and wrapping it for us I had this incredible feeling of a wash of warm throughout my whole body!! What an incredible blessing this was!!! Look below and see why I was so thrilled!
http://raisingmyboysinthecountry.blogspot.com/
You might be waiting for a few days for me to get the post up though! I am so busy with other things and the boys are busy creating journals from our California trip and I doing that.
Now for the reason for this post. Surreal. That is the name of this post. There is a good reason! Ray and I picked up the boys and took them out for the day. One of the first stops was an army surplus store. I knew our boys might find something there, but I was on a mission. I wanted some of that camo netting to hang over Dane's closet opening, as a door. Goes with his army theme room. We went through the room and then just before we were ready to leave the store I saw this rug hanging in the front of a stack of about 6 other rugs. I was in awe!! I saw a sign that said 50% off and quickly checked the price on the rug - $599.99 - typical! I have seen oriental rugs before and though they can be beautiful, they can also be expensive! Even at 50% off I wouldn't buy it! No matter the design.
Then I looked more closely. The tag was very deceptive and there actually were only 3 - 9's. It actually read $59.99!!! That meant it was $29.99!! WOW! It was a 5'x8' rug. The picture?? Five beautiful African little girls praying! While the guy was pulling it down and wrapping it for us I had this incredible feeling of a wash of warm throughout my whole body!! What an incredible blessing this was!!! Look below and see why I was so thrilled!
My Favourite - the Second From the Left
What chance do you think there is that I would find a beautiful rug that means so much to us on a trip to see our boys, in a store that we would never be in again? And the rug beside it? A pot leaf!! I raced out to Ray who was getting the little boy's in to their car seats and told him he HAD to come see this rug. He came in fully expecting to see a typical oriental rug with lots of colours and designs, which he would not be keen on (neither would I!). When he saw the rug he smiled, cause he knew. It was our special rug. The style of drawings of the little girls is my style. The colours match our home. And Ray figures we will hang it on that big empty wall on our staircase!
What chance? That is where the word 'surreal' comes in. It felt that when I saw our little girls up there on the wall! I have never seen a rug that had people on it before....
Friday, August 3, 2007
An Inspiration Message!
Ray asked me to post this because he likes U2. I watched this video and at the beginning thought it was your typical Hollywood hype, but as I watched it through its entirety I was moved. It is so inspiration, it will bring tears to your eyes!!
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
When In Doubt.... Believe
"It is only a matter of saying yes to what we believe we are called to do, and trusting that God has all of the other details worked out in advance."
This quote reassures me. Today I read on someone's blog about a new restriction on family size, in Ethiopia. Now of course, my first thought it to panic and think - NO! But then as I read further I got this neat statement of faith up above. I have to remember that God is in charge. And if He has decided we are to adopt, then He will work out the details!
I went to bed and as I got there my doubts began to arise again. I was thinking, 'What if our family is too big?' 'There are not many countries that will adopt to larger families' 'We fell in love with Ethiopia and it's people - we don't *want* another country!!' etc.
So I got out of bed and went back downstairs. I needed a word from God to reassure me that HE is in control. I know He is - but I am *human*!
I picked up my Bible and opened immediately to this page:
Mark 11:22-24
So Jesus answered and said to them, "Have faith in God. For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.
Interesting!! Look back at that verse and see those very words in it!!
and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, "
This morning, in my human state, doing what we should do, which is to *do what we can*, while trusting God, I made a phone call to our Ethiopian agency. I asked them again about this alleged restriction of family size. I had heard about it a month ago and asked them then. I was reassured this time, again, that this is just a rumour and it is also possible that some agencies have enforced this rule. But as far as our agency is concerned, this is not a problem. I rest assured that God is in control.
Thank you, Lord!
This quote reassures me. Today I read on someone's blog about a new restriction on family size, in Ethiopia. Now of course, my first thought it to panic and think - NO! But then as I read further I got this neat statement of faith up above. I have to remember that God is in charge. And if He has decided we are to adopt, then He will work out the details!
I went to bed and as I got there my doubts began to arise again. I was thinking, 'What if our family is too big?' 'There are not many countries that will adopt to larger families' 'We fell in love with Ethiopia and it's people - we don't *want* another country!!' etc.
So I got out of bed and went back downstairs. I needed a word from God to reassure me that HE is in control. I know He is - but I am *human*!
I picked up my Bible and opened immediately to this page:
Mark 11:22-24
So Jesus answered and said to them, "Have faith in God. For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.
WOW!!! As I write this I just got chills and butterflies!!! You can all go along for the ride, cause it is happening right now! And if I am wrong, at least I was faithful and listened. Sometimes we hear correctly and sometimes we don't. But I can tell you that when I have listened - 90% of the time I have heard right. God just gives us this 'feeling' and we are led!!
Just now as I was writing out that verse I noticed that two words were italicised and so I put them in italics. I was looking at the verse and analyzing grammatically why those two words were in italics (for those of you who know me, you know I am analytical! *laugh*) See, I would have thought that the word that would have been in italics would have been *receive* - since this is what the verse is about - faith and believing you will receive.
So, why is the word 'them' italicised? My butterflies came because I have been so strongly drawn to two children. Ray is now fully convinced along with me that we will have sisters. And specifically we are drawn to two little girls of around 2 and 5 years of age.
But the orphanage that we deal with only usually gets one set of siblings per month. Therefore it is more likely that we will have a single child presented for referral before a sibling group comes available.
How will we know if we are to take the single child versus waiting for the sibling group? The same way we have known things all along. God will show us - either through 'amazing coincidences' or through a 'feeling' of GO or STAY when we see the child's picture. And on the other hand, it may be that He just presents us with a sibling group first, which would have to take a miracle to bump ahead of the single kids!!
So back to the italics. When I was analyzing the words that were italics I 'saw' very strongly and very quickly got butterflies - that the word *them* pertains to *two girls*. I felt is was a confirmation that we are to receive two little girls. That is my belief.
And now to explain the meaning of the verse according to the concordance:
The illustration of casting an enormous mountain into the sea is an extreme example of the absolutely impossible. That is the point. Having faith in God can accomplish the impossible.
And the icing on top of this post is that I began writing this draft last night BEFORE I read the verse. Notice the title at the top of the page? When In Doubt... Believe.Interesting!! Look back at that verse and see those very words in it!!
and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, "
This morning, in my human state, doing what we should do, which is to *do what we can*, while trusting God, I made a phone call to our Ethiopian agency. I asked them again about this alleged restriction of family size. I had heard about it a month ago and asked them then. I was reassured this time, again, that this is just a rumour and it is also possible that some agencies have enforced this rule. But as far as our agency is concerned, this is not a problem. I rest assured that God is in control.
Thank you, Lord!
Prior Check - done
We met our new social worker yesterday and she told us it was her first day in that office. She not even set up her computer yet, so she told us it would be a day or so before she got our prior checks done. Well, a day or two considering her computer wasn't even set up - that was nice! She could have a huge stack of paperwork waiting for her.
She just called me and told me that she was faxing it off to Hope Services as soon as she got a signature from her supervisor. The check was already done. You have to love a social worker (or any government worker) who is so happy to proceed as quickly as you want them too!!
She just called me and told me that she was faxing it off to Hope Services as soon as she got a signature from her supervisor. The check was already done. You have to love a social worker (or any government worker) who is so happy to proceed as quickly as you want them too!!
The Simple Faith of a Child
Our children have been raised embracing the faith of a loving God. They understand that what we want is not always going to be God's will for us. They also believe in praying for what you want and then trusting God to do what He thinks is best for you.
This morning I had to go to the photocopiers to copy the application (and many, many papers that accompanied it) for Hope Services. After I had copied it I went to the post office with my stamps and envelope and went in to mail it. I was almost at the counter when I realized I had forgotten the most important part. We had not prayed over it. So out to the car I went.
I only had the three little ones, so they were all lined up in the middle seat of the van, in their car seats. I reminded them that we hadn't prayed for the paperwork that was going in. I put the envelope on Briton' lap. He was sitting in the middle carseat. All the little boys put their hands with mine on the envelope. Cooper crunched up his eyes real tight, as did Austin. Briton sat there and looked wideeyed while we prayed.
After I finished praying for safe delivery and that the agency would think we were an awesome family to adopt, and that they considered our financial situation adequate, Austin spoke.
He said, "I know God's gonna give us the girl, cause you know, it's in your heart."
The sweet faith of a child. He can see through our prayers how much this means to us. Austin has absolute faith that with our sincere desire to do something that can only glorify God (to adopt a child needing a home), that He will fulfill the desires of our hearts.
This morning I had to go to the photocopiers to copy the application (and many, many papers that accompanied it) for Hope Services. After I had copied it I went to the post office with my stamps and envelope and went in to mail it. I was almost at the counter when I realized I had forgotten the most important part. We had not prayed over it. So out to the car I went.
I only had the three little ones, so they were all lined up in the middle seat of the van, in their car seats. I reminded them that we hadn't prayed for the paperwork that was going in. I put the envelope on Briton' lap. He was sitting in the middle carseat. All the little boys put their hands with mine on the envelope. Cooper crunched up his eyes real tight, as did Austin. Briton sat there and looked wideeyed while we prayed.
After I finished praying for safe delivery and that the agency would think we were an awesome family to adopt, and that they considered our financial situation adequate, Austin spoke.
He said, "I know God's gonna give us the girl, cause you know, it's in your heart."
The sweet faith of a child. He can see through our prayers how much this means to us. Austin has absolute faith that with our sincere desire to do something that can only glorify God (to adopt a child needing a home), that He will fulfill the desires of our hearts.
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