It's Been A While!

Well, I am home again! It was an amazing road trip. I had the opportunity to spend time with four adoptive families that I met on the Yahoo group. Michelle, I am sorry I missed you in Cranbrook! I fully intended on visiting and then life took over. Next time I am there we will meet for sure!

I cannot believe it has been one week since I got home. I cannot believe it has been 7 weeks waiting for our Medical. I cannot believe it has been two months today, since we got our referral!! Time has passed so incredibly fast!!

I have not had a moment to feel bad about timeframes. I have way to much to do. On Monday morning I have butterflies as I wait to see if I will get a call from Imagine telling us that our Medical is in the pouch. When I see that there is no Pouch that week, or that we have nothing, I have a momentary feeling of disappointment. But I don't dwell on it. If I did that I would go nuts!

So I immediatley think: "Okay, so that gives me SIX days to get.... done." And trust me, I always have a LONG list of things to do!!! This is not because I don't want our girls home, or that I am okay with them being gone from us. Not in the least. But my dwelling on that will just cause me to be stressed out and make me miserable. I do think I am a cup half full person, and it does make things easier. If the kids spill something, as I am grumbling *grin*, I am also rejoicing that I can clean those chair legs that never get cleaned. Truly.

And right now we are in a situation that most people wouldn't get. Our oldest son is supposed to be going to Ethiopia with us. We have planned for this since basically Day 1. I am so excited for him to go, because he has such a compassionate heart. He is the one that wants to build a boys home. Whether anything comes of it or not, time will tell. But I know that this trip to Ethiopia will touch his heart. He has also been saving money and has about $800 to invest in orphanages and needy people when he goes.

At the same time, he is a Cadet. He has been in Cadets for three years. He has risen in the ranks and recently been awarded the highest position in their Corp. He has worked hard for this. He fought for the last six months against two other top cadets for this position. He won it and it was well deserved. Recently, he and his brother took home three awards each at the Cadet Annual Review. Amazing!

Okay, so how does this play into it? Because this year he is going to Vernon to the Cadet Summer Camp as Staff. This is a step up the ladder for him. Each year there are only so many opportunties that are offered before you 'age out'. This is an exciting opportunity for him, especially as he is hoping to join the military one day.

The problem? We seriously thought our court dates would take longer, thus pushing us into a fall pickup of the girls. We had no idea that we would be looking at a possible July/August travel date!! That is simply amazing!

The sad (actually for our son and me - devastating is the word) thing is that he may be in a position of having to choose between Africa and Cadets. If he chooses Cadets he misses a once in a lifetime opportunity - meeting his sisters in their homeland and helping in Africa. If he chooses Africa he may throw the rest of his next two years in Cadets - someone else will bump ahead of him in seniority and he will be left in the dust. Being 17 this is not a 'kiddie type decision' - it is career related.

So here we sit, *wanting* our medical to come in, but at the same time, watching the calendar and thinking that if it is held up, it pushes us closer to our son not having to make this choice. It is a strange place to be in.

I was starting to stress about this and trying to explain why this is not simply a 'child's organization' but related to my son's future and it *is* a very difficult choice, to a friend. She told me that God is in it and to just rest in that.

That night I went to bed and thought I hadn't been woken in a long while. "Besides," I thought to myself as I drifted off to sleep at 11:00 pm, "My mind is just so fuzzy these days when I wake in the night. It is a good thing God has nothing to share when I wake up! I can't keep my eyes open to read any devotions!"

40 minutes later, I was woken by a cough. One of our sons has a cough and I thought I would be up with him again. But no. It was just one cough and then all was silent. I tried to go back to sleep, but sleep evaded me. Finally, in desperation I headed downstairs to read my devotions. I have been rather lax lately and thought this might be a good time. And hey! Wouldn't you know it? I was wide awake!! *laugh* Coincidence? I think not!! That little cough woke me after I had a power nap!! *grin*

I open my devotions to June 9 and this is what I get:

"Feed on his faithfulness." Psalm 37:3

I once met a poor coloured woman, who earned a precarious living by hard daily labour; but who was a joyous triumphant Christian. "Ah, Nancy," said a gloomy Christian lady to her one day, "it is well enough to be happy now; but I should think the thoughts of your future would sober you.

Only suppose, for instance, you should have a spell of sickness, and be unable to work; or suppose your present employers should move away, and no one else should give you anything to do; or suppose--"

"Stop!" cried Nancy, "I never suppose. De Lord is my Shepherd, and I knows I shall not want. And, Honey," she added, to her gloomy friend, "it's all dem supposes as is makin' you so mis'able. You'd better give dem all up, and just trust de Lord."

There is one text that will take all the "supposes" out of a believer's life, if it be received and acted on in childlike faith; it is Hebrews 13:5,6: "Be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me." H.W.S.

There's a stream of trouble across my path;
It is black and deep and wide.
Bitter the hour the future hath
When I cross its swelling tide.
But I smile and sing and say:
'I will hope and trust alway;
I'll bear the sorrow that comes tomorrow,
But I'll borrow none today."

The eagle that soars in the upper air does not worry itself as to how it is to cross rivers." Selected.

God is so faithful. I have not been faithful in my time with Him, but He does not *give* based on what He gets from us. He knew I needed a Word, and He sent it.

I still may not know what the future holds, but I will not worry myself about the timelines. I will rest assured that God knows best if Colt is to go with us, or to Camp, or perhaps our timelines will push us past August. I rest in that.