Letter of No Objection

Before we are allowed to bring our children home from Ethiopia we need to receive a Letter Of No Objection from our government.

I have heard of people waiting until a week before travel to receive their LONO! Today, a mere two weeks since we accepted our referral, we received our Letter Of No Objection!!!!!!!!! I love it when things fall into place so nicely and quickly!

The LONO simply states that our province has reviewed what it needs to see, and they do not object to us bringing these children into our province to be adopted.

It was so neat to see this piece of legal paper with our children's birth and chosen names combined on them, plus the address of the Canadian High Commission in Nairobi at the top.

YEAH!! One step closer. Now come on Court and Medical. It is hard to believe it has already been nearly 3 weeks since we received our referral!

Love At First Sight?

I remember when we only had biological children, and I heard about adopted children. Much as I had always wanted to adopt I didn't think I would ever be able to love someone else's children as much as my own.

Well, I can tell you that that thought is long gone. Actually I only just remembered a few weeks ago, that I had ever had that fleeting thought. It was kind of interesting because when we stepped into adoption that thought was nowhere near my mind. It was a thought that had come and gone in the past and when we stepped out in faith to adopt, it was nowhere in sight.

It was kind of neat the other day when I remembered that I had ever had that thought. I was able to look back and think 'Was I wacky? How could I *ever* think I couldn't love an adopted child as much as my biological children?'

Because ever since we began this adoption process my heart has been in Africa. I have been in love with the invisible child for so many months now. And now since seeing our two sweet girls the love has grown one thousand-fold.

You might ask, "How can you love a child you have never seen?"

And I would reply, "The same way we love an unborn unknown baby that we carry in our wombs."

When that little baby is born it has a mind of it's own, a personality of it's own, and a will of it's own. And we love it.

When we bring home our little girls they will have minds of their own, personalities of their own, and wills of their own. And we will love them.

At first sight.

Just like we did when we saw our newborn babies!

And It Just Keeps On Getting Better!

This morning I was surprised by a handful of amazing shots of our girls!!! A very sweet mum came home from Ethiopia YESTERDAY and immediately emailed me to tell me she had pictures of our girls!!!! How incredibly selfless is that - just got in the door and immediately is thinking of the parents waiting here for pictures of their little ones!

The first one that struck me was how ADORABLE (sorry, Proud Mama!) our littlest one was!! This little one had never had a smile on before; just a sad little look with barely any light in her eyes.

But this morning I was met by a sparkly little girl with a smile and bright shiny eyes! I could see in the two pictures of her that she was a wee bit apprehensive, as in one she was biting her lip, while smiling big, and in the other she was pursing her lips. But the happiness just shone from her whole face. It was such a joy to see this happy little girl.

Yesterday, that was my big question that I wanted to ask Chris (the friend who had introduced herself to the girls). Did you see my little girls smile? Did they seem happy? Are their little hearts mending?

I got my answer this morning from another wonderful mum (Corinne) who went out of her way for us, like Chris did.

I then moved on through my photos and it was so wonderful to see how well-adjusted, happy, and beautiful our oldest daughter is! There was a picture of her sitting at a table with a handful of other children, and they are looking past the camera at someone else. Many are just gazing, but she is smiling. We also have a beautiful full picture of her out in the yard looking directly at the camera.

In another shot she is standing beside a friend, and if you look closely you will see that she is gently holding the other little girl's arm - it almost makes me wonder if she is a little insecure of this special photo session with just her and a friend, or if perhaps, this is just her little friend and it is what little girls do! *smile*

It is so incredibly neat to see the pictures of the girls as they live in their Ethiopian home, while waiting for someone to come and adopt them. They do not even know we exist yet; they will be told about us when we pass through Court.

We are praying that we get through in record time with the Medicals done in record time too. I would LOVE to be able to travel before the heat of summer. Not because of the heat, but because the tickets skyrocket in price and we have to pay for 6 tickets when we go.

I can't wait til I can share these pictures with you. Please pray for a quick successful court date!

A Wonderful Wake-Up Email

This morning I was thrilled to find an email from my friend, Christy. She is at this very moment picking up her baby girl, Hana, from Ethiopia!!! She only arrived yesterday, I think!!! But in the meantime, she took the time to immediately email after she had seen our girls. How thoughtful is that!!!! This was her message:

Justine,

I saw your girls today!! Mesay and Gadise were in the schoolroom. I asked the caregivers to introduce me.

They are BEAUTIFUL!! They just shine with a very special light.

They joined all the children in singing a song and just belted out "Thank you, Jesus!"

They were working on sums and were quite proud.

Because they were in the schoolroom, it was impossible to get a picture, but I must say, they are very special girls! I can't wait until you can see them and be with them yourself!! You are a very, very lucky family because it is clear that your girls are wonderful!

What a precious message to receive!! When my son heard me say that they 'shine with a special light' he immediately said, "They are angels!" Yes, these children were hand picked by God for our family!!

Thank you, Chris! You have so blessed us this day!!! For us to have a little insight into our little girl's lives and characters is so incredibly wonderful!

I'm All Out of Breath...

rushing over here to tell you the latest updates!! UNREAL is the only word!!!!!






First update: Last Fridays amazing number of 14 Visas in the Pouch was WRONG!!!! There were actually EIGHTEEN!!!!!!!!! Can you imagine? We are used to hearing of 1-3 babies a month going home!!! EIGHTEEN!!! This came directly from the Transition House where a mum is picking up her little boy and she was told by the people there!!!

Add to this the newest news. The MOST PROMISING NEWS!!!! This news came right from our agency. Apparently the 2-3 months for Court date has been altered. They are now anticipating ONE TO TWO MONTHS!!!!!!!! We have already used up one of our weeks waiting.

On top of that REMARKABLE NEWS - get this..... Visas are now taking WEEKS - down from the 6 month wait prior to Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

This means - if nothing changes, our little girls could be home by June, July, or August?!?!?!?!? HELLO!?? Is that possible??? Somebody get me a cold cloth - I'm about to pass out!! LOL!! I have rooms to decorate, clothes to buy, toys to find. Wow!! Girl stuff here I come!!!

Actually, I won't shopping like a madwoman until after the court date, but according to the dates, I may not have a lot of shopping time once court goes through!! Whoa!!

I was fully intending on going on a SHOOOOPPPPPPPINNG Trip once we passed Court date. That means going on a five hour trip to where there are real stores and boutiques and girly girl stuff. What fun!!!!

I hope you are ready to go shopping, Mandy!!! *smile* Of course, Corrie and I will begin the big spree on our Road Trip in May.....

We of course, are gearing ourselves up for the possible full term ride of October travel. But I am hanging onto this most incredible news I have heard yet!!!!!

Praise the Lord who wants His babies to come to loving families!!!!





Yippeee Kiyeeeah!!!

Soaking Into My Skin

Last night I was sharing with some friends how different adoption is to giving birth. Having my biological children was the most incredible experience but it can't be compared to adopting. Can you compare a pineapple to a mango? No. Why? Because they are so different.

Having children through adoption or biologically is the same. They are both beautiful but different.

What is beyond my ability to explain in words with International Adoption of older children is this: I can see what my children look like when they are past newborn. I don't have to wait until they grow up and become little characters to know them. It's like being given a new gift unwrapped.

Both my husband and I are obsessed with studying their little faces. We know every little mark on them. The way they hold their bodies, the shape of their ears, the shadow on Mesay's upper lip, the dainty little collarbone that shows on Gadise, the frail little hands.

We see that Mesay has a light in her eyes in both of her pictures - she seems to have a sweet spirit, a resiliance, perhaps, while Gadise has a solomn look on her face in both of her pictures.

I told my husband that I feel that our girls are soaking into me.

I have taken their weights and heights and compared them to our two littlest boys. They are tiny little girls. I took my boys in to get weighed, so I could picture our girls a little better. It is hard to 'see' them when you have no comparison in the picture. I realized that our littlest boy, Briton, at age 3 yr 3 months is the same weight as our oldest daughter, who is about 1 1/2 years older.

This week I was so blessed because I was suddenly inspired to email an adoptive friend who had just returned from picking up her daughter. I asked her if she might have any group pictures of the children in the Transition Home. Sure enough she did! At first glance we didn't see our children, but upon further studying we found one of them. She was right in the front of the picture!! We didn't recognize her because we were looking for a little girl! LOL!! She has very short hair and could be mistaken (and was) for a little boy.

So now we have another picture to pour over!!

On top of that I have asked a number of Adoptive Parents who are traveling in the next month to take pictures for us if they are able. They have all willingly agreed. We have a great support group on our Yahoo group and they all understand how obsessed you become once you have seen your child! And our agency will not give us any more updates until we have gone through court. So now I hold my breath until some parents come home with their children and hopefully a few pictures for us.

When we go it will be our turn to bless others.

The Most Incredible Friday

Last Friday, was the most remarkable day in Pouch Land. For those of us in the adoptive world the pouch carries much value. Every week it comes to Canada from Nairobi and is opened. It carries the Medicals and the Visas for the waiting children.

After our children go through Court and become ours, we are then waiting for the infamous Medicals and Visas which are needed to bring the children home.

In the last 9 months that I have been on the Yahoo group, we seem to see an average of 2-4 medicals or visas a month. Last Friday was an incredible day. All day long I was getting emails coming in with posts saying, "I got the Medical for.... " or "I got the Visa for... we are travelling..." By the end of Friday we had FOURTEEN children coming home!!!!!!!!!!!

Our government has listened to our pleas. A couple months ago, many, many parents wrote letters asking for the Canadian government to take notice of the fact that when children were adopted from Ethiopia they sat in the orphanage a further 6-8 months waiting to come home, simply because of lack of manpower in the Canadian High Commission in Nairobi.

I am thrilled to say that we have had personal reports from *within* the Canadian Immigration Centre in Ottawa telling us that they care about our kids and are making every effort to bring them home in an expediated fashion. They have even asked us to visit them at the High Commission in Nairobi if any of us are there. We are truly seeing caring, personal staff in our Canadian government!

They have come up with ways to identify the Visa applications that come in that are Adoption related. Before this, the Adoption applications were lost in the hundreds and thousands of general Visa applications at the High Commission. This was not good, because it states on the CIC website that Adoption applications were considered priority, but yet, they had no method to bring those priority files to the top of the pile. So we are so thankful to know they have come up with a working plan.

Is it going to work? Well, the proof is in the pudding!

When we originally wrote that cover letter to the government, back in December, our Friendly Adoptive Parent Writers asked that the High Commission be able to issue a Permanent Resident Visa in 4 weeks. This would be down from 6-8 months!! It sounded like we were asking for a miracle.

We are seeing it coming true!!!! The Medicals were taking up to 21 weeks to issue (part of the PRV process); we have now seen them come through in 2-12 weeks!!!! They are even coming through before Court is done, which further speeds things along.

Well, these Visas that came through this Friday showed us that they are hustling in Canadian Immigration!! Fourteen children coming home in the same week! Unbelievable!!! The Transition Home is going to be 25% emptier!

One lucky parent had her Court date at the end of March, and she got her Visa in under 3 WEEKS!!!!!!!! That particular document usually takes about 5-6 weeks. Another Mum was planning to go and get her daughter in August or September; she is leaving in a few days!! This is so incredible!

No more 8-9 months - now we are down to 4.5 - 6 months!!

Now come on Court Date!!

She Looks Just Like Me

When we showed our littlest son the pictures of the girls he looked at them and then pointed at Gadise and said, "Me." He keeps saying this. I know what he means. When he looks at himself in a mirror or sees a photo of himself, he says, "Me."

He is colour-blind and just sees a little person who looks just like him: they both have big eyes, similar shaped faces, and are nearly bald! *grin*

Just a hint of what our littlest one looks like: That picture of that sweet little baby with the Ethiopian flag on the side of my blog makes me think of what Gadise might have looked like when she was a baby. The picture we have of our little girl has her head tilted in the same direction with the same lip pout, and same expression in her eyes. It could be her.

The Referral Moment

Okay, so now I will fill you in on the details! *smile* And yes, for all those that know me, you will have to listen to the long meandering version to get to the punch line. How *else* would I do it!! *laugh*

These are a few of my nonblogged journal entries that led up to our referral - notice how close these dates are to when the girls entered the orphanage!

March 17, 2008

I was telling Ray yesterday, I think our referral is coming very, very soon. It feels like Braxton Hicks!! Laugh. Seriously! I feel it can’t be long now…

March 18, 2008

Today I just felt this feeling of the ‘noose tightening’. I told Ray that I just feel that our referral is ‘impending’. This is the first time I have felt this. I just have this incredible feeling of ‘it’s coming any time now’. I don’t know why and it might be nothing, or it might be God giving me the heads up.

This morning when the phone rang my stomach just tightened *instantly*. When I saw it was a customer’s phone number I was disappointed, but more importantly, it took my insides about 10 minutes to stop feeling that excited/nervous feeling. Weird!

The phone rang again, later in the day, and I didn’t feel that feeling, but I certainly feel hopeful. You know, this is the first that I have felt this way! In the 3 ½ months that we have been waiting, I have not yet had any anxious moments when the phone rang, or just simply hoping the phone might ring.

Note: Our girls were brought into the orphanage on March 20! Just days after I felt these strong feelings.

The days when I was feeling that the referral was impending; that the noose was tightening - were the days leading up to the girls being relinquished to the orphanage. I believe they were so on my heart because their life was at a turning point that was about to impact us in a very meaningful way.

On April 10, I went to town, never dreaming that what seemed like a very ordinary day was about to become the most extraordinary day of my life!

I have had pregnancies before, but I can tell you - all you adoptive moms who are about to experience your first baby - that this is nothing like finding out you are pregnant. There is something super special about finding out what your child will look like when they are already 'little people' and not just a newborn bundle.

Not only that, but we had prepared ourselves to wait until Christmas for a referral. We had originally been told to expect a 2-6 month wait. This quickly became 3-8 months, and since we weren't seeing any movement on the sibling referrals on our Yahoo group, I was certain that we would soon see it creep up to 4-10 months. So I mentally prepared myself for Christmas - 12 months - then I would not be stressed out.

Imagine my surprise when at 4 months and 4 days we received the CALL!

Then add to that the fact that with our government making such a huge effort to get the Medicals done in record time (down from 21 weeks to 2-10 weeks, so far) and our agency applying for them months earlier than they were - we now knew that instead of a 8-9 month wait for travel, we were now looking at a 4-6 month wait. Huge difference.

So suddenly, instead of travelling next September to get our girls, we realized that we could be travelling as early at September or October of this fall!! A whole year earlier!! God is good!!!

On to the the referral call:

So I came home from town and shortly after the phone rang. It said, "Private Caller, Private Number". For a moment my hopes crept up. Any private number is suspicious *smile*. I quickly found it was not what I was hoping for. I turned to my 15 year old and told him what I had suspected and then went on my way.

I sat down for an email break before I tackled my afternoon's agenda. I love to read my Canada Adopts Ethiopia Yahoo group and see if there are any referrals, medicals, visas or traveling posts. They are so encouraging for those of us waiting in the wings.

Just last week one mum said she was traveling and offered to take pictures for anyone who had a child waiting to come home. I never dreamed I would be one of the ones saying, "Please take pictures of our little girls."

As I sat reading the yahoo group I noticed the Adoptive Sibling Parents discussing how long they had each been waiting for a referral. The only word I can use for watching for their referrals to come in is *grueling*. Some of these parents have waited 30 weeks for the phone call! Their age range is much more specific that ours so that would be why we moved ahead in line.

As I sat there reading the phone rang. It read "Blocked Call". Right away I was seriously suspicious. It is either a government call or an agency - *grin* - I suppose it could be other offices, but those are the only two blocked calls I have ever had!

I answered the phone and one of the social workers - who also happens to be an old acquaintence (small world) says to me,

"Hi Justine, it's Eve, from Hope Services."

"Hello." Said cautiously hopeful.

She sweetly replies, "How are you?"

"Good." I reply - getting suspicious. A little too much niceties. Usually agencies get to the point.

"Are you having a nice day?" She asks, dragging it out.

"Yeeessss..... Are you calling me to tell me something I want to know?" Said very slowly and with great suspicion.

"Would you like your day to get nicer?" She teases.

"Is it a REFERRAL?" I quickly ask with immense hope.

"Yes! You have a referral for two little girls." I can hear the delight in her voice. What a joyful phone call to get to make, and it is so nice, since we are old homeschool friends.

As I sit there in stunned disbelief, she forwards me the photos. We go over the photos and the medical information together and chat for about 15 minutes. At one point, she asks me to check with Ray if we want to accept the referral. (Of course she has to ask this, I realize.)

HUH!? Are you kidding me? *laugh* - I tell her, "I don't need to check with Ray. These girls are the exact age he was hoping for! We accept!"

As soon as I get off the phone I call my adoptive friend, Corrie, who will *totally* understand my excitement, awe, wonder, shock. As I knew she would be, she is thrilled to bits and we sit and share the photos of the girls together. She has two little ones already from Ethiopia and is waiting for her next group of siblings to be referred. It is my prayer that we will receive our referrals very close to each other so that we can share the rest of this journey together.

Right after I get off the phone with Corrie, I go into a tizzy. Ray is due home in two hours and I *have* to figure out a way to tell him this. We have a crazy night. It is Thursday and we have kids going in all directions tonight. That leaves me about 2 hours to figure out something and pull it together.

With my head in a fog, I grab my computer, a cd, a child (leave the rest with a big brother) and head to town. I figure I will develop the pictures and then put them in a frame and wrap them up for Ray to be presented with. Goofy me, my head not working straight, I don't think that I could easily save the pictures to disc at home and then simply take the disc to the store. Nope. I take the whole computer with me! LOL!

So in town I figure out I have to download to cd.. yada yada.. As I am sitting there in the photo shop I am thinking 'I hope noone I know is here, before I tell Ray.' It is a small town, after all! As I sit down and bring up the girls pics on the computer to edit them, a lady beside me leans over and says, "Is that them?" *laugh* I hadn't noticed her! She is a Christian lady that works at our corner store and knew we were doing this! She cried when she talked to me about the girls. It was so touching.

I then picked a nice frame and put the pictures in. After I got the job done, I dashed home, only to realize I had forgotten the computer at the shop! The kind neighbour called and told me she would bring it home for me.

At home, I wrapped the presents and made sure all the kids were ready to go to their functions that night. I couldn't let on to anyone what I was doing, so I had to be sneaky. When Ray came home I told him that I was going to my parents, since I had to be out for Cadets anyway. I really wanted us to go there, so we could share the referral info with them. He sat down to his dinner and I then told him that I had an early birthday gift for Austin, since it was his birthday in two days.

I called all the boys into the kitchen and had them sit around the table. I then placed Austin on a stool by Ray, so Ray could help him if he got stuck on any words. I figured that if I gave it directly to Ray he would figure it out. So with Austin opening a 'birthday' card it would blindside Ray.

Just a disclaimer here: my husband is a tough construction worker. I have probably seen a glint of tears in his eyes two or three times over the last 20 years! But when he saw the words on that card he couldn't even read it. He was so overtaken with emotion. His face just crumpled and tears spilled over onto his cheeks.

Those girls have a daddy who has been wanting them for more than 17 years. They couldn't be more anticipated. I don't think Ray believed this day would ever come.

I have attached a video of the moment. If you look closely you can have a glimpse of the girls in the photo frame. We will not be posting real pictures of them until after Court, which can take from 8-12 weeks. We are praying that it is simple and they are through in record time.

(As you can see from our boys' attire, they were all called from something they were engaged in! *laugh*. )

Music

Please scroll down to the bottom of the page to turn off the music to hear the speaking in the little video. You will have to click the PAUSE button. Thank you!

Daddy's Little Girls - First View

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I Have a Dream

I have a dream - a dream of a little girl. A sister for my boys. A baby girl for my husband. A daughter to share what only a mother and daughter can share.

God is so good. Not only did he give us a daughter, he gave us two.

We are thrilled to have been referred two precious little girls. They are 3 1/2 and 4 1/2 years old. Their Ethiopian names are Gadise and Mesay.

They are absolutely beautiful children. Huge eyes and such sweet faces. I can't wait til I can share their precious faces with you all. We are so incredibly blessed.

Listen to the words of this song. Listen through to the second refrain when the children sing. As I was about to compose my blog entry this song popped into my head. I know that came from God. This song was a song that I used when I was crowned Queen in a girl's organization, when I was a young adult. It is a song that carries great memories for me. It is a song about dreams being fulfilled. And another dream is about to be fulfilled in our family.

And when you hear the children - try to imagine our little girls (or any other little ones) praying for a mummy and daddy to love them forever.

God is so good. He even gave me a song without me even thinking of it. And I didn't even know there were children singing in this beautiful song. That makes it so much more meaningful.

I have a dream, a song to sing. To help me cope with anything. If you see the wonder of a fairytale you can take the future even if you fail. I believe in angels. Something good in everything I see. I believe in angels. When I know the time is right for me - I'll cross the stream. I have a dream.

I have a dream, a fantasy, to help me through reality. And my destination makes it worth the while. Pushing through the darkness still another mile. I believe in angels. Something good in everything I see. I believe in angels.

I will post later about the actual referral and how we received it and my hubby's reaction.

If you would be so thoughtful, please leave comments that I can add to our little girls Life Books about when they were referred to us. It would be so appreciated. Thank you.

A Sweet Note

This is a beautiful note I received last night from my good friend, Corrie. I thought you all might like to read it....

I had a dream today.....

you phoned and told me you now were the proud mother of two beautiful Ethiopian daughters........

I had a dream.....that you were a mother of 8.....instead of a mother of a meagre 6 children.....

I had a dream....that we were shopping together in Drummheller and Calgary....we were buying frilly dresses and chocolate baby dolls....

'twas a beautiful dream, dear friend.

me

HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!

Details later..

FOUR down... How Many More?

Any way you look at it we've been waiting FOUR months to see our children's faces.

It has been four months since our file went to Ethiopia. (Plus the previous 5 months getting our homestudy done. Total 9 months down.) Did I really believe we would be waiting four months to see a picture of the children God has chosen for us? Never!! I really believed that with our wide age range we would see a referral within weeks!!


Have I been at peace with the wait? Absolutely. There was a time in the beginning when I wasn't and that was only because I was so sure the referral was coming in any day. Now, that time has gone by I have been resourcefully filling my time with all the many things I have to do!

My son was saying today that once we get our referral the time is going to drag until we can get the girls. I said - no way! Once we get the referral we won't do much - we will wait for a successful court day and then we will go to town!!

At that point, I will be moving furniture and putting all the boys in the dorm room and begin decorating the girls' room. I have no idea what my inspiration will be for that room. I know I want to have an area for dress up - something wonderful for little girls. My boys love to dress up, but they aren't into the boas and high heels and necklaces and hats. I can't wait to see that!

I will no which direction I am going in with their room when I find the perfect 'thing'. That is all it takes when I do a room - a piece of border, an ornament, a print for the wall - and then I am off!

Every day we pray for our girls. We pray that they are protected and loved and that God is preparing them for this journey to come across the world to a new family. We pray that God is helping their family through the decision to give them up - if there is any family.

Many people don't understand why a family would give up their children. In Africa, there are so many children that are orphaned by AIDS. The generation that is dying is the middle age bracket. This leaves many, many babies and children and old people.

It is normal and the custom for family to take in family, but there is only so much a family can do. When you think that not all grandparents can take in all their grandchildren and raise them - where are these children to go? In our culture there are many grandparents raising 1 or 2 grandchildren because their parents 'aren't doing or can't do their jobs' - not because their parents died of AIDS.

Can you imagine being in Africa and having one, two, or three or more of your children die of AIDS and now you are responsible for their children? How do you feed them? How do you clothe and school them? School is not free in Africa - you need money for uniforms and tuition.

I read a typical story of Africa's orphans by Deborah Ellis called The Heaven Shop.









It is about a little girl in Malawi. Her mother is dead and her father is ill. He has 'The Slim'. No one wants to call it AIDS. They have a family business - a coffin shop. It is very busy...

Eventually, he dies. The children have relatives come in and like anywhere the relatives aren't necessarily the best relatives and the children are split up, after the relatives take what they can from the family possessions. The girl goes to live with her grandmother and this woman is raising a neighbourhood full of children - not all hers!

This book was written because this is typical of Africa. This author writes all of her books through the eyes of children, so we can *feel* what they live and feel.

Do you not think that woman would want the best for her granddaughter? What is the best? I can't answer that as I have not ever been in a position of having to choose to keep my child and feed him a handful of rice every day or so, or send him to a far off country for a 'better life'. Who are we to decide? My heart aches for the parents / grandparents/ aunties and uncles - who have to make this heartwrenching decision!

When Ray and I entered this adoption we were not 'into' Open Adoptions. About eleven years ago we were approached with a beautiful 2 year old girl that needed to be adopted. What a opportunity!! This was right after we prayed that if God wanted us to adopt he would have to 'drop a child in our laps'. Did we ever feel this was a child meant for us. It didn't turn out that way. The grandparents wanted an Open Adoption. That was early in our parenting days and the thought of sharing our child with strangers was so foreign to us. As it turned out that didn't really even factor into the equation as they chose to work with a family that lived very near to them and we were about 8 hours away.


But when we went to our adoption seminar we watched videos on Open Adoption and saw children and parents who were connected through Open Adoption. We spent the day in tears. It was the most moving and beautiful experience for me! We left that seminar praying that God would bless us with an Open Adoption.

We might bring our children home and all they have is each other and that is a headstart on children adopted with no siblings to come with them. But how much better would it be to know that our children have *family* in Ethiopia that they can write to, visit, even possibly phone. A connection to their blood that will never go away! These children would be blessed to able to know their roots and their heritage!

I know of one mum who had the incredible opportunity this year to go and spend three weeks with her daughters birth family! Can you imagine?! This little girl has the chance to talk to her family and know them and be happy and whole - because she knows *who* she is. Not an adopted child but a child who is Ethiopian and knows where she came from *before* she was adopted.

At our seminar we met a very eloquent young lady of about 25. Her story just ripped my heart out. She was found on the back doorstep of a Children's Home in our province, when she was newborn. She tells stories of being propped up on the couch with a bottle with 'calming' medication in it. When she was adopted to a kind family the Children's Home told her parents what they gave her to stop her crying. She was drugged to quieten her.

She asked us "Why do you think I cried so much? I cried for my parents." This young woman was still so evidently *raw* with the pain that has still not healed.

She is still searching for any information on *who she is*. She is now an Advocate for adopted children and travels the world and speaks internationally and has articles in magazines.

I had no idea how devastating this lack of information could be to a child, who then is supposed to grow into a thriving, productive, fulfilled adult! This is why we want our children to know who they are and where they came from and if at all possible, to know their family as they grow up.

Having passed the four month mark, we could feel that we are 'half way there', since we were told 3-8 months for a referral. Actually, we were told 2-6 months for a referral, and then the timelines got longer. We can only pray that they do not extend the timelines again!

But that said, whose timelines are we on anyway? Many people rest on the timelines that they are given by the Agency, but they don't really mean anything! Think about it - we are on God's timeline!! The Agency might tell us 3-8 months, but really, we could have had a referral in 2 weeks and we could be waiting 2 years! It doesn't seem likely, but it could happen!

I actually find it harder waiting as a Christian, than a non-believer. If I was not a believer, then I would rest assured in the dates that we were given - meaning we are at a maximum of four months from getting a referral. But then, if that was how I lived I would get stressed out when my 'timeline' was not adhered to. Really, the 'timeline' is just an illusion, as I have often seen families wait longer than the 'standard' timeline.

So waiting for God's timeline really means: NO TIMELINE!! *laugh* In GOD'S time - not mine - His will be done. He knows where our children are and when they need to come home. In some ways it feels harder believing that way - cause now there is no 'deadline'.

All I know is that when we get THAT CALL we will be so happy and so excited; you won't be able to contain me!! And I KNOW my hubby is the same. I asked him the other day if he ever thought about the adoption. His answer 'Oh yah'. So then I asked him, "More than once a week?"

His look and response showed me that this is something that is very near and dear to his heart. He thinks about the girls more than I ever thought he would! I can honestly say that he seems to have more invested in this adoption that he did when I was pregnant - any of the six times. He was just not a emotional, ooey gooey daddy-to-be. *grin*

But this time it is different. He is a great dad to our boys - but he is about to have his Heart's Desire - Daughters.

Our boys can understand that as they really want a sister. I know that somewhere out there there are little children who want a family, and I hope in their hearts that they know how much they are wanted over here!

Yesterday, when our 11 year old was talking about the girls he referred to them as 'my girls'. *smile*