The Referral Moment

Okay, so now I will fill you in on the details! *smile* And yes, for all those that know me, you will have to listen to the long meandering version to get to the punch line. How *else* would I do it!! *laugh*

These are a few of my nonblogged journal entries that led up to our referral - notice how close these dates are to when the girls entered the orphanage!

March 17, 2008

I was telling Ray yesterday, I think our referral is coming very, very soon. It feels like Braxton Hicks!! Laugh. Seriously! I feel it can’t be long now…

March 18, 2008

Today I just felt this feeling of the ‘noose tightening’. I told Ray that I just feel that our referral is ‘impending’. This is the first time I have felt this. I just have this incredible feeling of ‘it’s coming any time now’. I don’t know why and it might be nothing, or it might be God giving me the heads up.

This morning when the phone rang my stomach just tightened *instantly*. When I saw it was a customer’s phone number I was disappointed, but more importantly, it took my insides about 10 minutes to stop feeling that excited/nervous feeling. Weird!

The phone rang again, later in the day, and I didn’t feel that feeling, but I certainly feel hopeful. You know, this is the first that I have felt this way! In the 3 ½ months that we have been waiting, I have not yet had any anxious moments when the phone rang, or just simply hoping the phone might ring.

Note: Our girls were brought into the orphanage on March 20! Just days after I felt these strong feelings.

The days when I was feeling that the referral was impending; that the noose was tightening - were the days leading up to the girls being relinquished to the orphanage. I believe they were so on my heart because their life was at a turning point that was about to impact us in a very meaningful way.

On April 10, I went to town, never dreaming that what seemed like a very ordinary day was about to become the most extraordinary day of my life!

I have had pregnancies before, but I can tell you - all you adoptive moms who are about to experience your first baby - that this is nothing like finding out you are pregnant. There is something super special about finding out what your child will look like when they are already 'little people' and not just a newborn bundle.

Not only that, but we had prepared ourselves to wait until Christmas for a referral. We had originally been told to expect a 2-6 month wait. This quickly became 3-8 months, and since we weren't seeing any movement on the sibling referrals on our Yahoo group, I was certain that we would soon see it creep up to 4-10 months. So I mentally prepared myself for Christmas - 12 months - then I would not be stressed out.

Imagine my surprise when at 4 months and 4 days we received the CALL!

Then add to that the fact that with our government making such a huge effort to get the Medicals done in record time (down from 21 weeks to 2-10 weeks, so far) and our agency applying for them months earlier than they were - we now knew that instead of a 8-9 month wait for travel, we were now looking at a 4-6 month wait. Huge difference.

So suddenly, instead of travelling next September to get our girls, we realized that we could be travelling as early at September or October of this fall!! A whole year earlier!! God is good!!!

On to the the referral call:

So I came home from town and shortly after the phone rang. It said, "Private Caller, Private Number". For a moment my hopes crept up. Any private number is suspicious *smile*. I quickly found it was not what I was hoping for. I turned to my 15 year old and told him what I had suspected and then went on my way.

I sat down for an email break before I tackled my afternoon's agenda. I love to read my Canada Adopts Ethiopia Yahoo group and see if there are any referrals, medicals, visas or traveling posts. They are so encouraging for those of us waiting in the wings.

Just last week one mum said she was traveling and offered to take pictures for anyone who had a child waiting to come home. I never dreamed I would be one of the ones saying, "Please take pictures of our little girls."

As I sat reading the yahoo group I noticed the Adoptive Sibling Parents discussing how long they had each been waiting for a referral. The only word I can use for watching for their referrals to come in is *grueling*. Some of these parents have waited 30 weeks for the phone call! Their age range is much more specific that ours so that would be why we moved ahead in line.

As I sat there reading the phone rang. It read "Blocked Call". Right away I was seriously suspicious. It is either a government call or an agency - *grin* - I suppose it could be other offices, but those are the only two blocked calls I have ever had!

I answered the phone and one of the social workers - who also happens to be an old acquaintence (small world) says to me,

"Hi Justine, it's Eve, from Hope Services."

"Hello." Said cautiously hopeful.

She sweetly replies, "How are you?"

"Good." I reply - getting suspicious. A little too much niceties. Usually agencies get to the point.

"Are you having a nice day?" She asks, dragging it out.

"Yeeessss..... Are you calling me to tell me something I want to know?" Said very slowly and with great suspicion.

"Would you like your day to get nicer?" She teases.

"Is it a REFERRAL?" I quickly ask with immense hope.

"Yes! You have a referral for two little girls." I can hear the delight in her voice. What a joyful phone call to get to make, and it is so nice, since we are old homeschool friends.

As I sit there in stunned disbelief, she forwards me the photos. We go over the photos and the medical information together and chat for about 15 minutes. At one point, she asks me to check with Ray if we want to accept the referral. (Of course she has to ask this, I realize.)

HUH!? Are you kidding me? *laugh* - I tell her, "I don't need to check with Ray. These girls are the exact age he was hoping for! We accept!"

As soon as I get off the phone I call my adoptive friend, Corrie, who will *totally* understand my excitement, awe, wonder, shock. As I knew she would be, she is thrilled to bits and we sit and share the photos of the girls together. She has two little ones already from Ethiopia and is waiting for her next group of siblings to be referred. It is my prayer that we will receive our referrals very close to each other so that we can share the rest of this journey together.

Right after I get off the phone with Corrie, I go into a tizzy. Ray is due home in two hours and I *have* to figure out a way to tell him this. We have a crazy night. It is Thursday and we have kids going in all directions tonight. That leaves me about 2 hours to figure out something and pull it together.

With my head in a fog, I grab my computer, a cd, a child (leave the rest with a big brother) and head to town. I figure I will develop the pictures and then put them in a frame and wrap them up for Ray to be presented with. Goofy me, my head not working straight, I don't think that I could easily save the pictures to disc at home and then simply take the disc to the store. Nope. I take the whole computer with me! LOL!

So in town I figure out I have to download to cd.. yada yada.. As I am sitting there in the photo shop I am thinking 'I hope noone I know is here, before I tell Ray.' It is a small town, after all! As I sit down and bring up the girls pics on the computer to edit them, a lady beside me leans over and says, "Is that them?" *laugh* I hadn't noticed her! She is a Christian lady that works at our corner store and knew we were doing this! She cried when she talked to me about the girls. It was so touching.

I then picked a nice frame and put the pictures in. After I got the job done, I dashed home, only to realize I had forgotten the computer at the shop! The kind neighbour called and told me she would bring it home for me.

At home, I wrapped the presents and made sure all the kids were ready to go to their functions that night. I couldn't let on to anyone what I was doing, so I had to be sneaky. When Ray came home I told him that I was going to my parents, since I had to be out for Cadets anyway. I really wanted us to go there, so we could share the referral info with them. He sat down to his dinner and I then told him that I had an early birthday gift for Austin, since it was his birthday in two days.

I called all the boys into the kitchen and had them sit around the table. I then placed Austin on a stool by Ray, so Ray could help him if he got stuck on any words. I figured that if I gave it directly to Ray he would figure it out. So with Austin opening a 'birthday' card it would blindside Ray.

Just a disclaimer here: my husband is a tough construction worker. I have probably seen a glint of tears in his eyes two or three times over the last 20 years! But when he saw the words on that card he couldn't even read it. He was so overtaken with emotion. His face just crumpled and tears spilled over onto his cheeks.

Those girls have a daddy who has been wanting them for more than 17 years. They couldn't be more anticipated. I don't think Ray believed this day would ever come.

I have attached a video of the moment. If you look closely you can have a glimpse of the girls in the photo frame. We will not be posting real pictures of them until after Court, which can take from 8-12 weeks. We are praying that it is simple and they are through in record time.

(As you can see from our boys' attire, they were all called from something they were engaged in! *laugh*. )