First Homestudy Visit

I am tired so this will be a short post. Short, you say? She can write *short*?? HA! Well, I'll try!

Friday night I slept LOUSY!! I knew our social worker visit was the next day, but I don't think that was what kept me up. Actually I was down, but all night long I was hearing, "Doooee, a deer, a female deeeeer, Raaaay, a drop of golden suuuuunnnnn" You see, our little actor, Cassidy, is auditioning on Tuesday night for a musical. There is only one place for a child and it just happens to be for a ten year old boy. I called the woman and asked her if she had any spots for a ten year old boy who liked to act. She said there was one spot. I said, "I don't even know if he can sing." *laugh*

So we hit the internet and downloaded Julie Andrews and he and I have been singing all week. Gee, I didn't even know about notes and music and up and down the scales etc. But now it is quite funny - I am a conductor! There I am in my kitchen with him singing away and me trying to get him to remember to HOLD a note or RISE a note on a word etc and I keep my hands flying trying to give him sign language. Suddenly I realized that is how conducting came about!!! It is so funny.

Anyway, if you could say a prayer for him. This little boy gave up his acting with his agents this year because he knew the cost of each audition was about $150 with gas etc to the coast. He knew that every penny was needed for our adoption. He said he wasn't in it for the money - he just wants to act. So I said we would concentrate on trying to find him something around here. That was decided about 2 1/2 months ago.

About 2 weeks ago we found this ad in the paper stating that they were holding auditions for Bye Bye Birdie to be held here in our town. The committment is big - 2 nights a week for 3 hours a session, (for 6 months!) and then a straight 2 weeks nightly prior to the opening night, and then 6 nights and matinees, when it begins. But we are no strangers to committment, since we have been willing to drive him 6 hours for each audition and most jobs!

If he was to get this job I would know it was a gift from God, directly to Cassidy, for sacrificing his acting pleasure for the sake of bringing his sisters home.

If he gets the role, his first rehearsal is October 4 and it continues twice weekly til March! He would be in heaven to do that much acting.

Anyway - all that to say - I did not sleep well the night before the meeting.

We got up the next morning and flew around getting everyone ready and then Ray began the 'dropoffs'. First he took Austin to Tammy's house, then back to get Cooper when I had him ready and then he took him to Christine's house. By now we were all ready. We left Dane home with Briton for the day and had to drop the other boys off elsewhere. Dane was left with a long list of do's and one small don't. We then dropped off Cassidy at a soccer game with his friend and Colt at his friend's for a cadet function. And then off we went.

It was a two hour trip to our social worker's town and we quickly found her place. She turned out to be a really nice lady who made us feel comfortable right away. She told us all about herself and how she got to be doing what she is. She then began asking us questions. It was not done interrogation style, but more with real interest.

She began by asking us why we wanted to adopt. She then moved into asking us about our relationship. She wanted to know how we met and how we made the change from friends to more. She asked us to tell her the most romantic story and see who's was best.

From there we moved onto adopting a black child and becoming a transracial family; infant development; raising girls versus boys - I have to admit that was one thing I never really gave much thought too! I have thought alot about raising black children in a white family, but not raising girls after raising boys!! So that is something we (I) will be reading up on.

At one point she asked us about our faith and we ended up saying a whole lot more than we had written on the questionnaires. There was a moment when she asked how we would handle it if the child that came to us had a different faith - ie: Muslim. The odds seem to be that they will be Orthodox Christian, but it could happen. I told her 'with great sensitivity and by seeking wise counsel!'

We were there about 2 1/2 hours and it flew past quite quickly. We will be meeting again on Wednesday night where Ray will have his individual meeting and I will have mine and then we will reconvene for our next session together. After that the last one will be at our home in two weeks.

We were fortunate because our social worker was funny and fun. She had a sense of humour and it came out when she asked us questions that made our eyebrows go up. Sometimes she would ask a question to get us thinking - that was the point of the meeting - but I found she was sensitive to who we are. She said there was no 'right and wrong' answers.

So overall, I think it was a successful visit and 'kind of' look forward to the next meeting. I wonder what she is going to talk about there?? It will be about parenting next time.