I have had many people ask me about living on one income. This would be such a long post and it would take me days to ponder and think up all the answers. Right now life is rather full. Actually, it is always rather full!! *laugh*
When Gwen mentioned coming home and taking that huge step of faith, I totally understood it.
Let me tell you I know exactly how she felt. We have always had one income. A story:
Last week, while eating dinner, we were discussing whether we (Ray, I, the two older boys) would stay at the Hilton for a few nights on our trip to Ethiopia. As we are sitting there discussing the pool, mini golf, and the grounds, our 11 year old jokingly, morosely said, "And I will be sitting in a tent."
You see, he was the 'lucky one' that while we are away he gets to go with his two youngest brothers and help our friend who is looking after them. I had told him that he could set up a pup tent in the yard, so that he had somewhere to go. There will be four children 5 and under in the house for him to play with. And I am sure, from his perspective: Oh yeah! (smile)
I immediately informed this uninformed son that our older boys had never had a family holiday until the year we went to Tennessee. We never had the money for holidays, hotels or any such thing. My husband quickly went on to add that there were times in our oldest sons first eight years of life, that we didn't even have enough to eat. This is true. But I had forgotten those days.
That was before we began to tithe. As the years went by things slowly improved. Gradual help. Blessings from other places.
For example: just this week a man drove in our driveway and dropped off two truckloads of firewood. My husband is building his house and the owner figured he would give us the wood. That will save us about $300 in firewood this fall. This has never happened in all of the houses my husband has built.
We have continually been getting *quality* hand-me-downs, without having to ask.
Our local Loaves and Fishes always has an abundance of bread, muffins, buns that they give us after they have helped the 'needy families' (of which, I do not consider us one!) and this all began when we bought them a brand new freezer. We gave and God blessed. Not to say *we* are good - to show you that when we gave, God in turn gave back to us! We have been blessed in this way for the last 2 years!!! I have not baked bread for two years!! Do you realize the savings in that!
Ten years ago, when things were *very* tight (when our oldest was seven years old) we made the decision to move from the city. We needed to unload debt and find a cheaper place to live. We moved up here from a busy city. We moved on faith. No money. No job. Just faith. My husband commuted for 18 months. Then he quit and came home. I knew and stated to people that my husband would do just fine up here because he was an excellent carpenter and was very precise and cared about his work. I was proven right. Over the next 5 years, little by little, our income crept up.
We began to tithe about 6 years ago. And we have seen the blessings from that. Each year, the income stretched a little further. And each time we stepped out in faith and had another child - just totally trusting that God would keep making ends meet - He did.
I can't say we did anything special. We did listen to leading of the Holy Spirit - we did give when prompted and given the Bible says that if you give a hundredfold will be returned to you - I can only believe that is what has happened. God knew we trusted Him to meet our needs; we gave in our little or our plenty; and He has continued to meet our needs.
I think He honours wise decisions. When we were looking at hotels in Ethiopia, we wisely chose a smaller hotel away from the centre - half the price. I believe that we used His money in a careful manner and He will honour that.
When we decided to move to town it was based on an internal prompting. I knew there was no way I was moving from the country - therefore, it had to be God moving me. If He was moving me then He had a plan. I moved willingly (but somewhat sadly). We arrived in June of 2006. We built our house and in doing so he quadrupled our equity. We listened and moved and we were blessed.
We then were drawn to adoption. All the signs were pointing towards it. There was no doubt we were meant to do it. But we did not step out without 'proof' that God would provide. I lay down a fleece and told God if we were meant to adopt then I needed to know that He would be paying for it! I wanted him to 'send a sizeable chunk of money' (quote) Audacious? Perhaps. But God honours faith. He knew that I trusted Him and was not willing to step out, unless it was what He wanted for us.
Within a week we received a cash donation from a good friend of $500. Within another month we received $10,000 in a form of a grant.
From that day forth, I knew without a shadow of a doubt, that God would provide for this adoption. And he has.
In the meantime, he has increased my husband's worth, increased our home value four or five fold, and He continues to send blessings our way!
You might think God's blessings only come in the form of wealth. They don't. We have six extremely healthy children, not one wears glasses, and there is only one cavity among the six of them. Can you imagine the savings we have had from those blessings?!
In the meantime, we continue to be careful with our money. We do not eat out. Once in a long while we will do pizza or an occasional takeout.
We buy in bulk. We shop from within our own cupboards before we go to town.
No juice - use water
No bought cookies.
Bake own bread with bread machine - pennies versus dollars
No bought pizza - make own pizza
Buy treats like choc milk rarely - mix 1/2 and 1/2 with milk
Our kids snack on fruit, or bread and buns.
We do not buy processed foods: I cook from scratch 95% of the time.
Treats are a treat. They do not help themselves.
Use cloths not paper towels for wiping up, washing bathroom, cleaning up messes
Make own cleaning products with: vinegar spray for mirrors, counters, bathrooms; baking soda in bathtubs for cleaning soap scum
Buy shoes a size too big for little ones. When my children were very little I bought shoes 1.5 sizes too big. For the first six months they only wore them to church, the second 6 months (a size to big) to town, last six months everywhere (worn down a little). This way I got a lot of use out of a pair of shoes. I do not pass shoes down unless they are for children under 6.
Birthdays: we do family birthdays. Our kids get one or two 'fancy' birthdays in their childhood. At that time they can invite a friend or a few friends. Otherwise, they are happy to have family (grandparents) and us. Why? Because we teach our kids to celebrate family and that family is more important than friends. Friends come and go. Family doesn't.
By doing this we do not buy goodie bags or spend a fortune. For the children's birthdays there are all sorts of inexpensive ways to have fun: games, treasure hunts, survivor birthdays with fun/crazy activities, silly parties - teams, wrap up in toilet paper, egg and spoon obstacle, feed each other pudding blind folded etc. The children also come up with their own gifts for each other - made or spend under $3 of their own money.
Our kids don't get name brands. They don't even know name brands! Because we homeschool we are not caught up in the 'what everyone else has' mentality.
I cut our kids hair - even my hubby's. Me on the other hand, get a real cut *grin*. Noone in this house is touching my hair! LOL!! I have offered my hubby to go to a 'real' hairdresser, but he is happy with my cuts. We probably save $40 a month on haircuts - if you go every two months!
We do not have the fancy tv stations. We have basic cable and I would get rid of that if I could!
I buy gift through the year when I see the right thing. I do not do a big Christmas shop.
Our kids do not get allowance. They live here, therefore they pitch in.
When our big kids start working on a regular basis (about age 13) then they pay 10% to the Housekeeping fund. That basically is the food fund, since they are eating more as they expend more energy. But really, in the last few years we have done just fine as my husbands income has grown, so that money goes in the Holiday Fund. This is teaching them from a young age that they have financial responsibilities. When they are 20 years old and living at home, it will be the same deal - 10%. Not a lot in the scheme of things. But it teaches them responsibility, and it builds up the family Holiday Fund. A fund that I would never have money to put in.
The boys also Tithe right from the get go. That is why our oldest boys have $1200 + to take to Ethiopia. And they don't even flinch. It is what you do. They wouldn't dream of doing otherwise. It is what they have always seen us do. We are sure to show them the blessings when they arrive and point out that 'this is one of the blessings of tithing'. Our little five year old is known to say, "Thank you, Word." (Thank you, Lord.") *smile*Because he already recognizes that all good things come from God.
As well as their tithing, they put 50% of their earnings in their House Fund. This is UNTOUCHABLE. And not one of them have EVER questioned spending this, as they have done this since they were 10 or 11 years old. It is a given. You do not touch your housefund. That is your future. Our 17 year old has about $10,000 already saved this way.
Our kids know that they do not date until they are ready to think seriously. And they don't date. They will court. This means that they are not throwing money down the tubes on girls. While other kids are blowing money on clothes, girls, fast food, cars etc. our boys are working, banking their money, having fun with friends, and planning for their future. When they are ready to get serious - ie: $15,000 - $20,000 in the bank, and a paid for vehicle - THEN they can think about girls. And we have seen that they respect this. In the meantime, they have lots of friends - girls and boys.
So that saves them a ton of money. And THAT is how we can afford to have lots of kids when it comes to College and future plans for them.
And for those that aren't self employed, you can do the same thing. The second that a child is able to earn money: raking leaves, babysitting, dog walking - you can have them give 10% to Charity; 10% to Housekeeping (if you wish); 50% to House Fund (and for our one son, this will probably be his Pilot's License fund); and then 30% to Spending.
30% is more than enough for a child to learn to save for what he wants.
Our 15 year old is working for six weeks this summer. By the end of the summer he will have $600 Spending; $200 for Charity; $1000 in his House Fund; and $200 in the Housekeeping/Travel Fund.
I think that is a good portion for a child. As they get older they get more money and earn much faster, and have more hours to work. I have been amazed to see how this boy who a few months ago, lamented, "I don't want to be a framer," has risen to the challenge of working hard and earning money. He is also helping pay his way to Africa this year. He realizes what an opportunity this is and so we are deducting a little from his Spending and his House, so that he has been part of getting there.
I think this really teaches financial responsibility. I think I can attest to this, as I see and hear how the older two handle their money. Our oldest is at Cadet Camp as staff. The staff are making $3000 for the six weeks. Our son watches kids blow their money every time they get time off. He can't believe what they spend.
He, on the other hand, is only allocating about $300 for spending over the time away. The rest is going in his House Fund, for his trip to Africa, and his tithe.
I think that if you train your children when they are very young and do not give them options as to how to how much money they can spend, they will be respectful of it. Our boys know that though they would love to have access to that 50%, they know that it is their money and it will be there when they need it.
One of our boys is very frugal. Frugal to the point that sometimes I tell him he is cheap *grin*. But he has a goal. He wants to be a pilot. He plans to buy a Beechcraft airplane and run his own business. I expect he will succeed. Because we instilled saving since he was tiny.
I am very proud to see that my boys, as young as 15 and 17, are so very grounded in their financial decisions. (And trust me, I didn't know this a couple years ago. Then they appeared like regular wishful spenders.)
We have also done things like add a $1 an hour to a child's income. Because we knew that though he was only worth $9 an hour, that extra $1 was us putting money in his College Fund. So it was for a good cause. Meanwhile, he was *working* for the rest.
My boys are amazing workers. They did not always work like that. This summer our oldest is away and he was my husband's main helper. Our second son was *not* a worker. But now, he had a vision, a Beechcraft airplane, and now he is rising to the challenge and he is now a great worker, also.
That takes care of a HUGE feeling of responsibility of parents: their kids future. You are doing your children a favour when you teach them to save for their college and future.
Another thing: we did not involve our kids in all the classes. It was not until this last two years that our kids went to Scouts, Beavers, Cubs, Swimming, Flag Football, Hip Hop Dancing etc. Before that they simply were KIDS. They climbed trees, built forts, rode bikes, had sword fights, played all kinds of imaginary games, were warriors, and ogres, and army guys, and Tom Sawyer, and Huck Finn. They were REAL kids!
Now we have had a little more fluid income we have been able to open up a few more opportunities to them. But I would NEVER dispense with real kid play. I think there is so much value in that!! Just yesterday, I had my boys (all five of them), plus two other friends over. As I sat here working I could see swords (sticks) waving in the air a kids ran past the windows. At one time I looked out and saw my 3 year old having a sword fight with a 12 year old. There was a mighty battle going on in the yard!
I finally went outside at 8:00 pm and called our two littlest in to bed. Dane, our 15 year old, who rarely gets down and plays little boy games anymore, said, "OH, can't they stay. They are great soldiers!"
It is so rewarding to see the kids playing, imagining, together. Not only that, but it saves a fortune!!!!!!
So cut back your kids classes to zero, or just one or two. Cubs, Scout, Cadets are all free. And if we don't have the money, they don't all go. A child here or there, for a season. And next season it is someone else's turn. Noone ever complains, because it is the way.
Our kids know that they would rather have another sibling than new toys. My brother told me once that 'kids are naive. They don't know." He was referring to the fact that our then 12 year old said he would rather have a baby than a new bike. Well, he was wrong. Our now 15 and 17 year old, when asked, would rather have another adopted child than a new ATV or snowmobile or truck. They have seen the value in brothers and now sisters!
As to Toys: we buy toys that can be built on to. We buy quality toys that last: lego, duplo, kinex, brio, playmobile. These are all toys that you can keep adding to. This Christmas two of our youngest boys will get the Playmobile dinosaurs. Because there are two kids we can buy the complete set! If we had one child then we would only afford 1/2 the set. So our kids benefit from having other children! Also, another child will get a new set from the Brio train tracks. This will be added to the accummulated Brio we already have. By adding to it, they now have a fantastic assortment of tracks, bridges, and tunnels. This set began being built onto 17 years ago!! The benefits of big families!
As far as homeschooling expenses go: Sign on with schools like
www.wondertree.orgThey are distance ed and offer $1000 per child. This helps enormously with expenses!
Well, that is it for now. I have been sitting long enough and there are suitcases to pack!!
My 'plan' was to enjoy the beginning of a book, so that I would know I wanted to read it on our trip. I can't believe how little I got read - 2 pages. Between kids wanting water or chips, or help with this or Briton trying to fill his water cup with the sand and then asking for water to be put in it. Yada yada. Suffice it to say, I realize the beach is not somewhere to relax and read. But it was nice to watch the children having so much fun!
Surfer Boys
Big Brother Helping Cooper
My and My Littlest Cutie
Cassidy tried to get it back but couldn't swim fast enough. He took off running around the cove to the other side, where Dane was near a rock edge. He wasn't fast enough and Dane was off and moving again.
Determined to Get His Boogie Board Back - Pebble Tossing Ammo?
SO that turned into a room cleaning job. I can't just do one thing. It has to lead to another and another and before I know it, I have spring cleaned the whole house, including repairing and painting all chips in the walls. You think I am joking? Ha. *grin* I guess you don't know me. Well, actually that happens other times. This time I was too focussed to let that happen.
And of course, Cassidy threw in his tent and his fishing rod. He figures he will sleep in his tent in the backyard (poor guy *grin*). Little does he know that he will be Mr. Mom while I am gone!
The lady knew who we were right away. She very kindly told us to take our time. We weighed each suitcase and each (except two) was between 43 and 46 lbs. Thank goodness. One was 48 lb and one was 35 lb. I was not willing to go over in Vancouver, so I took the time to open the suitcases then and switch. I threw some heavy granola bars from one suitcase into the lighter toy box and moved some light puzzles over to the heavy suitcase. Once we reweighed them it all balanced out.
I also put in a photo album of the best of the photos that I have received from travelling parents, with room for more pictures as we send them to her. 
